Jessica 💐

Another night up thinking about you, unfortunately

I miss you so much and I’m always so angry that our lives turned out this way. I’m so angry. So so angry

When will I ever get over you? When will I get over how terrible this year has been and how terrible I feel about myself

it was never even a question in my mind that David Byrne would be on the right side of this shit

Youtube is full of ads, spotify is full of ads, tumblr is full of ads, pinterest is full of ads. Everything uses ai. Every new update makes the website/app worse. Youtube auto translates almost every video I want to watch. Sometimes pinterest only loads ads for me. Check out this new ai feature. Here's a new update that breaks ur laptop. Here's a new update that breaks ur phone. Why are u complaining about ur phone, just get the newest iphone lol. Join my patreon. Join my membership. Pay a monthly membership to get all features. Upgrade your membership to get even more features. Subscribe to netflix. Subscribe to disney. Subscribe to amazon. Subscribe to hulu. This content isn't available in ur country. This content was removed. This website was removed. This feature only exists for apple. U need to a WiFi connection to play this game. This app only exists for apple. U need an account. We need your email to finish creating this account. We need your number to finish creating your account. We need your id to finish creating your account. In order to delete your account please write an email. In order to delete your account you need a laptop. Oops our database was hacked and ur information was stolen. Ur data was sold from this random website u used once 10 years ago. Spam call. Spam call. Spam call.

i know we have to "push back" or whatever but this administration has us saying the goofiest, most obvious shit. late night hosts are allowed to make jokes. actually, WE pay tariffs. no, that's not how tylenol works. could be solving climate change but instead we're debunking middle school rumors

Upcoming SNL board: Oct 4: Bill Burr/ Chappell Roan Oct 11: NBC Apology Oct 18: Series Finale

Everyone remember your Luigi lesson: They're lying about the reward and you will lose your job.

henry with some fish

another fish for henry

what a peach

king

i understand that our attention is divided as a nation but i do need everyone to know that henry winkler is on a fishing trip

Turning Point USA made a literal watch list of professors, primarily women, queer folks and people of color, and made us targets of political violence. I’ve received hate mail and harassment and death threats off and on for nearly a decade in part due to that man’s organization so 🤷🏽‍♀️

You are under no obligation to mourn the death of people who would’ve celebrated yours.

as always i encourage u all not to post things that may attract the attention of an authoritarian secret police with unlimited power to surveil american citizens at this time

Feel like this one finally got topped.

We gotta drop "What do you do for fun?" question from the small talk list. It's too hard. I always panic and say something like I like to eat lunch

*opens up your fridge and sees you have 2% milk* hey bro you need to charge your milk

What people think they 80s were like versus what the 80s was actually like.

me after the tariffs are struck down as illegal

Reagan holding a beer and barbecuing

Reagan holding a beer and barbecuing for a different angle

White House releases photos of President Reagan healthy and barbecuing this weekend.

white moms when having a child in the 2010s

hat that says "if you're not masturbating to me I can only assume you're masturbating against me"

In other news, my own birthday is in 19 days 🎉 🥳

Happy birthday. I wish you were in my life

I know “god” is real because I just unironically started bawling to “The Two of Us” by NSYNC while on my way to my little intensive outpatient therapy group

I don't like to speak badly of people. I have grown up thinking and being told that if you cannot say something nice about someone, you should not say anything at all. But I must break that rule in this case because I hate Hulk Hogan very much. He is a big ugly goon and I want to squash his face. -Andre the Giant

A police officer arrests Chuck E Cheese while children watch in the background

A Chuck E. Cheese employee in full costume was arrested by Tallahassee officers for credit card fraud

www.tallahassee.com/story/news/l...

OOH BROTHER I'M BURNIN IN HELL. I SPENT MY LAST YEARS BEING A MOUTHPIECE FOR RACISM AND BIGOTRY AND NOW I'M SUFFERIN THAT TORMENT ETERNAL. HULKAMANIACS THESE 24 INCH PYTHONS ARE WREATHED IN SCALDING FLAME, SEARING MY FLESH FOR ALL TIME.

jb-blunk: In this terrifying world you continuously have the power to offer someone else a little relief . why would you withhold that. do you remember what a little relief feels like? it feel slike a lot testing-stormneko: excuse me? are you suggesting i frolic directly into someone's emotional space and assume what brings them relief, potentially causing more stress? are you encouraging people to reach past their own boundaries to help, increasing net suffering if it costs more than the other gains? surely not; that would be advocating for emotional self harm. jb-blunk: this is a post about the woman who waived my late fee at the bank . testing-stormneko: good for you, good for her, the wording on the initial post feels closer to blaming people who don't reach out than celebrating those who do by a large enough margin that i feel the need to hit back jb-blunk: you are a tar pit

Never ever forget the origins of "tar pit" in this sense

Okay this is so fucking funny FUCK!!!