positRon

No matter how cold it gets in Indianapolis, there will always be a white dude walking around in basketball shorts and a hoodie

Why does every ZipRecruiter email go like "hey we know your resume says you're a copy writer, but are you interested in this job listing for an astrophysics professor? No? How about one for a cashier at a Dollar General in a different state?"

Apparently Spelling Bee doesn't accept the word "gabagool". This is literally the worst thing the NYT has ever done

So active shooters show up on Google Maps now. That's fun, this is a fun time to live in

Perk of being tall: the top shelves at the grocery store are still pretty well stocked

That was a particularly nauseating anthem and flyover

And that's why the apps advertise them so hard. It's the new version of daytime tv commercials hawking gold and reverse mortgages

I paid attention when I watched that movie. Huge mistake.

Really hoping this new Behind the Bastards episode didn't get the bone saw treatment

Is Nick Saban drunk or is he always like this?

Car commercials: "Our gigantic truck can drive unreasonably fast over dirt and rocks and mud"

Me: "I want to get to the grocery store"

This is WaPo's slogan in an alternate universe where they got bought by someone with a soul

Me listening to podcasts 2 years ago: "These chumba casino commercials are the most obnoxious thing I've ever heard"

Capitalism: "Hold my beer"

My headcanon is the NYT has a Matrix-style human farm where they grow more reactionary op-ed writers

My favorite part about driving a Prius in a red state is getting coal rolled by guys who were losing their minds about gas prices a year ago

This lady in 2028: "Fuck Trump, I'm voting for Mecha-Hitler"

a man in a red and black uniform with a star trek badge on his chest Alt: Captain Ben Sisko from Star Trek: Deep Space 9 shaking his head

Me reading that we're going to waste billions building Trump-class battleships and the first one will be called the Defiant

The Soldiers and Sailors monument in Indianapolis with Christmas lights at night in black and white

And the edgelord version

The Soldiers and Sailors monument in Indianapolis with Christmas lights at night

Indy all dressed up for the holidays

I agree with everything except the implication that Bruce Campbell is mortal

Thanks for all the extra AI features, Google. I've always said my Pixel isn't slow enough

I'm against regulations on the free press, but I do think journalists should get kicked in the shins every time they use the word "mistruth"

I was at a standup comedy show during Trump's address. It was the best thing I've done for my mental health all year

Hanging out in your hotel room with the door wide open is some absolute psychopath behavior

Erika Kirk: reasonable centrist

Bari Weiss: radical leftist

Hillary Clinton: literally the lovechild of Karl Marx and Rosa Luxemburg

"Track your order with Shop" is code for "you might receive your order before the heat death of the universe, no promises though"

It's also a driver's sport. Verstappen has the same car as his teammates. Hulkenberg made the strategy call that got him a podium at Silverstone

Dark Souls 2 is better than Dark Souls 1 and I'm tired of pretending it isn't

I just walked past a man carrying two pizza boxes vertically. I've never been so afraid for my life.

Nothing boosts your self esteem like re-downloading Bumble for the hundredth time and getting the "you've run out of people in your area" screen