Blue

This morning on the district line a lady sat next to me was reading erotic fiction whilst the lady on the other side of me was reading and annotating the bible.

Today on Grindr I saw a beautiful man, smiling, in a speedo, on a yacht in the middle of what looked like the med and I felt a sudden lurch of desire. However, I feel like it begs the question: do I want this man, or do I just want to go on holiday?

The borrowdale yews are the *only* correct choice here

IT’S TOO FUCKING HOT

Older than meeeeeeeee

Me: this is understandable and I don’t feel overwhelmed.

My brain: well maybe it’s too easy and you’re a cheat and a liar and everyone else is looking at more complicated neuroscience

Imposter syndrome is wild: I’m two thirds of the way through a masters in neuroscience and the biggest hindrance to it all is me telling myself I don’t deserve to be here, despite passing all my exams.

It was here in 2024 when you took this photo too.

Teehee

Get in the bin with all of ya. Apart from the kids - no harm.

I’m enjoying how the cast for that new crap pile of a H*rry P*tter series has changed from: here’s a collection of Britain’s best and most respected actors to: Oh, yeah that’s… that’s what’s their name who was in… that thing…

I mean sure it didn’t work out too well for them but I’m sure they could have found a way to make it work with some decent relationship therapy.

Every time I see zodiac charts telling me (a Leo) that I’m incompatible with my boyfriend (a Capricorn) I get very Romeo and Juliet with it all.

I DEFY THEE, STARS.

Well we went didn’t we

Alex Lawther this is your reminder you can absolutely raw me.

Lego make a Kleya minifig, I beg.

Keir would be licking the Emperor’s boot before you could say Alderaan.

I can just see Palpatine hitting AS PER MY LAST EMAIL

Andor is a cautionary tale that you can spend years planning to take over an entire galaxy, and the sheer incompetence of your colleagues can bring it all crashing down.

Shout out to the lass at my table on the train who’s decided to host a Teams conference call on her phone in the middle of the carriage. Fascinated to hear about how they plan to transition to phase 2.

That scene in Mean Girls where Cady talks about word vomit but instead of her friends getting bored of hearing about Regina George it’s my family asking me to stop pointing out the rapid rise of fascism in the West.

Silly question but has anyone actually ever bought anything because of a YouTube advert? I feel like every time I see one I get so annoyed by it I swear off ever ordering from that place.

Started the gym up again - can’t say I knew what I was doing but an old man gave me a thumbs up as he walked past me struggling to do weights in the outside area.

Yeah I could try and scoop him out but I had to let this bake and I don’t have time to reset.

A midge flew into my eye and now I’m doing my best to not cry my makeup off as he dissolves in my aqueous humor.

You don’t own me

Tom you’re literally talking about how your boyfriend dresses

Hello yes, pleasure to meet you, you may notice I’m smelly, half dressed and covered in cheese.

Off to an acting class tonight which I’m pretty nervous about after about five years of being out the game. Spilled mac and cheese down my jumper - great, never mind. Then notice I smell of B.O. - tremendous. Buy deodorant and when putting it on rip two buttons off my shirt. 🫠