Mom of No Rank

The USDA Ended Its Annual Hunger Report. What Does That Mean for Food Banks? “Ceasing to measure hunger will not end it.”

My latest for TODAY, on a topic near and dear to my heart. Comments from Houston Food Bank and the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics very much appreciated.

Back in Black Food 2: Backer and Blacker I've got a dye-free appetizer, cocktail and cake for your seasonally creepy party

Just in time for your Halloween party planning, my Substack is Back in Black again, with 3 recipes and no artificial coloring of any kind. Don't miss my inverse Grasshopper cocktail, the Devil's Horse! momofnorank.substack.com/p/back-in-bl...

Vintage Recipe Roulette: 1968 Grasshopper Pie Of course it has Jell-O in it. Everything had Jell-O in it in 1968.

This week's Vintage Recipe Roulette is about the 1968 Grasshopper Pie!
Because when you think grasshopper, you definitely think lime Jell-O.
momofnorank.substack.com/p/vintage-re...

A Definitive Ranking of the Most Popular ‘Struggle Meals’ One is so iconic, the others just can’t ketchup.

My latest for TODAY...I'm a little concerned by how many people are searching for struggle meals, and I hope this helps. You might not have even heard of my number one, even though it's been popular for a very, very long time.
www.today.com/food/trends/...

An Austin Start-Up’s Diaper-Eating Fungus Aims to Solve Our Plastic Waste Problem Hiro hopes to give parents an alternative to adding to a persistent environmental issue—by making a dirty job just a wee bit dirtier.

My latest for @texasmonthly.bsky.social ! Austin's Hiro Technologies has developed a plastic diaper that comes with a packet of plastic-eating fungi. I'm a huge tree-hugger, but after really enjoying The Last of Us, that series about fungus-borne zombification, I had a lot of questions about this!

Vintage Recipe Roulette: 1968 "V-8" A La Mode I'm not sure what it is, but I do know it shouldn't have had a V-8

In this week's Vintage Recipe Roulette, the 1968 Campbell's Cookbook recipes for V-8 a la Mode. Would we call this a drink? A sundae?
Let's just call it a mistake.

Hamburger Helper Sales Are Soaring. Here’s How to Beef up Its Nutrition A dietitian offers tips to save money, add nutrition and fancy it up.

Whenever money is tight, store brands and boxed dinners rise, but this is unusual even in that context. I think people want one pot, fewer dishes, and nostalgia, too. Link for my latest with tips to save $, add protein and fiber in the replies!

What Is ‘Stretchy Yogurt’? I Tried the Viral, 3-Ingredient Recipe What’s up with this funky ferment? Cookbook author Kat Lieu thinks the name is kind of a stretch.

Previously, everything I had read about stretchy yogurt was how to avoid it when making homemade yogurt, so this is quite the trendy turnaround. I made it, and for the record, the blue one is butterfly pea flower powder. Thanks to @katlieu.bsky.social for her cool copycat recipe!

Vintage Recipe Roulette: 1956 Beef Fizz and Frisky Sour Abandon all hope, ye who enter into the Campbell's Convenience Foods Cookbook

In this week's Vintage Recipe Roulette, I climb my Everest, the 1956 Campbell's Beef Fizz and Frisky Sour. #food

Vintage Recipe Roulette: 1964 Raspberry Chantilly Oh Jell-O. Why can't I quit you?

Like someone melted down a Barbie doll with its packing peanuts.

Vintage Recipe Roulette: 1970-80s Pizza Hut Cavatini Supreme Is a rural community cookbook copycat edible? Stranger Things have happened.

This week's Vintage Recipe Roulette may have been born in the 70s, but it tastes like the 80s. If you spent a lot of time in Pizza Huts, we're about to revisit an old friend, courtesy an equally old community church cookbook from Niangua, Missouri.
momofnorank.substack.com/p/vintage-re...

I Tried Nara Smith’s ‘Deconstructed Salad’ and Think It’s Still Under Construction The hot new late-night snack is, apparently, “seasoned leaves.”

My latest for TODAY was really fun to write -- the comments are hilarious. Nara Smith is a model/influencer who usually makes insanely complicated things like homemade Starbursts while wearing gorgeous clothes. This time, she has a snack that she swears she loves, but it's decidedly minimalist.

Need distracting? Keen to find something to laugh at? I can recommend @momofnorank.bsky.social 's trawl of recipes of lore and infamy. She takes the risks so that we don't have to and her descriptive powers are to be treasured.

Vintage Recipe Roulette: 1969 Cheese Pralines These are so buttery, in that they remind me of the time I accidentally melted a plastic butter container on the stove.

A new friend recently passed along a real treasure, a hospital auxiliary cookbook from 1969 Corpus Christi, TX. There are some real doozies in here, and I decided to go for the evil twin of the delightful New Orleans Praline, Cheese Pralines.

Vintage Recipe Roulette: Marcy's "Enchilada" from 1974 The only good thing I can say about this recipe is that it uses quotation marks correctly.

In this week’s Vintage Recipe Roulette, an entry from the 1974 Weight Watcher’s recipe card collection, Marcy’s “Enchilada”! Vinegar? White bread? The only accurate thing about this recipe is the quotation marks.
momofnorank.substack.com/p/vintage-re...

Vintage Struggle Meals: 1979 Vegetable Nut Loaf from the USDA It certainly is nutty, I'll give it that.

My husband went to the store to get a brisket this weekend and came home with a chicken, because the brisket was $95. Soooo this is the week I finally make one of those weird 70s vegetable loaves! I gotta be honest...it's a little nuts.
open.substack.com/pub/momofnor...

Vintage Recipe Roulette: "Syrup Tart Dessert" from 1960s-ish Australia! Sometimes social media drops you a gift, and then it gets sent to you for real

This week in Sunday Vintage Recipe Roulette, a tart from a cookbook sent to me by fellow horrifying retro recipe enthusiast Anita Jarvis, from her mom's pre 1980s collection! What an honor to receive such a treasure (don't miss the curried banana steak inside). May contain tumbleweeds...

YouTube video by Dr. Gangrene The Creeping Terror - worst movie ever made?

Oh, well spotted! It's a dead ringer for "Creeping Terror". youtu.be/iOcGhji91Ok?...

It’s a real horror show!

Oooh, as bad as this is, it's not as bad as my favorite AI monstrosity, the Coca-Cola crab, peanut butter pickle, chocolate ranch Reuben.

Vintage Recipe Roulette: Try and Guess Salad I really thought this level of scary clown had to be from the 80s. I was very wrong.

I came across this recipe for "Try and Guess" Salad quite a while back, and was sure it was from the 80s. It has a scary clown vibe, just like the mall bangs and eyebrow arches from back in the day. I was wrong though, so very, very wrong.
momofnorank.substack.com/p/vintage-re...

Mom of No Rank (@momofnorank) June Cleaver’s Vintage Closet shared an image of this absolute monster on instagram, and because I’m every bit as foolhardy as I am terminally curious, I tried it. For the record, it’s from a 1925 p...

June Cleaver’s Vintage Closet shared an image of this absolute monster on instagram, and because I’m every bit as foolhardy as I am terminally curious, I tried it. There’s a violently mysterious ingredient that can’t be had these days, and I think you’ll be surprised about its identity.

Has a Decades-Old Mystery of the Alamo Been Solved? It Depends on Who You Ask. Officials claim that a quarry discovered under the San Antonio Zoo is the source of the stones used to construct the mission. But the evidence may not be rock-solid.

This really troubles me, as a Texan. It's a National Historical Landmark, UNESCO World Heritage Site, big enough to hold all its complications and mysteries. It does not need anyone to overstate, no hype or chest-thumping, not from anybody.
It's the Alamo, remember? 4/4

momofnorank
I contacted Alamo Trust to clear the apparent mix up, and after weeks of talking to person after person, I never got the geological and historical evidence hyped in that press release. It may exist, but if it does, they didn't give it to me. 3/

While it was widely reported and is already what AI will tell you, I got a flat denial that the firm cited in their press release (still online as of this writing), had found anything to support "the hypothesis" that the "exact quarry" had been located. 2/

Months ago, I pitched an amazing geological sleuthing story to Texas Monthly, after the Alamo announced that they had found the "exact quarry" for the Alamo's stone -- at zoo's new gorilla exhibit, of all places. When I contacted the geologist, though...well, I had another thing coming. 1/

Yes! Holding them with newspaper can help you keep from getting those teeny spines in your fingers, and you can rub them off that way. I still burn them off, too, but it cuts down on the pain!

Only reason I ever buy a newspaper

Aww, thank you so much Sara! This means a lot. 🥰

Vintage Recipe Redux: 1920s Saltine Margarita Icebox Cake I'm using the Devil's own tequila. What could go wrong?

In this week's vintage recipe shenanigans, I've got something old, something new, and the Devil's own tequila!