Hypnobun™

Yeah, not this time. Her face has been lifted to the point that her vagina is now in her neck and her nipples are on her cheeks.

The Great Silence - Electric Literature “The Great Silence” by Ted Chiang The humans use Arecibo to look for extraterrestrial intelligence. Their desire to make a connection is so strong that they’ve created an ear capable of hearing across...

Ted Chiang wrote a touching piece on this:

electricliterature.com/the-great-si...

But at least we still have Bowie, right?

I'm not sure I can ever go back now that Ueck is gone.

Many white men have gotten away with being incompetent for so long that they have no idea how to even be competent.

"You're not leading a company. You're cosplaying a personality disorder and calling it leadership."

Holy shit. That's amazing.

linkedin is the world's greatest open meat market, where the meat markets itself

10/?

because god forbid that their true fucking love sits outside in the cold.

tl;dr: men suck. stay the fuck away from them. seriously.

9/?

directly to a wood chipper. these men will only ever be, at best, 6 year old angry toddlers. they're going to throw your Subaru out of the garage so they can park their too large RAM 3500 pickup sideways in your garage

prioritizes men's toys over you. if your guy longs after one of those $100k RAM diesel pickups, dump him now. if he looks like he wants to cosplay Fonzie and the halfwit fucknuts that ride Harleys, tell him to "suck your dick". if he even glances at a Jeep, ask him to report ...

7/?

if you don't feel like you're the fucking princess of the fucking world right now, dump the fucking prick and move on with your life, ok?

6/?

makes you feel bad about anything. you should be a fucking >princess< to this guy early on. Nothing is going to get any better once you get into a relationship. or get married.

5/?

hateful of any powerful women (especially Taylor Swift because she's making it more difficult for these jagoff white males)

asks about body count. (note to men: get the fuck over yourselves you worthless pieces of smelly ass shit.)

4/?

Marry him. NOW. They make up like 0.00002% of white American males.

The rest of the group:

afraid to wash their asses because gay. Or something. I don't understand these motherfuckers at all.

3/?

showers regularly

wears clean-ish clothes sometime of the time

doesn't gaslight you or make you feel inadequate

doesn't expect you to give up your goals,

doesn't ask you what your "body count" is

2/?

while halfwit shitbag guy gulps down a steak that you took a half day off to prepare on a Friday.

Welcome to the 2020s, women. Seriously, get a fucking cat and a sweater, as today's men really fucking suck.

With that said: If you find a guy who hits at least ONE of these daily goals

1/?
Most guys? They're looking for mom. Someone to cook and clean for them. Do their laundry. Make them feel better when they realize they are terrible at everything. Give them goldfish when they are down. Have sex with them even though sex is a sad blowjob

*pre-ordering book* goddamn it!

AGAIN!

Cuomo: How do you do, fellow poor people?

Marge Simpson - makeup gun.

where are you going? come back!

now with even more rgb! hey!

you have to pay to have this scrap heap hauled off because it's full of all kinds of toxic chemicals that we’re totally allowed to dispose of in the water table. hey, i tell you what, i’ll throw that away for you if you preorder one of the limited edition Shitbox XL Pro Max units!

sociopaths. coke? I uh. um. never mind. just keep the car. it: i’m really sorry but we can't do that.

it's very likely they'll stick around for a while. at least until the sparkly rocks or uh. the coke runs out. customer: ...greedy...

so i guess i’m out of a job, sorry. maybe try the brand up the street. they've just gotten acquired by some Patrick Bateman level psychopath and a bunch of sparkly rocks.

customer: uh…

it: <whispers> in case it helps, since we started talking, your car manufacturer got acquired by a bunch of failbros who have stolen everything from the company and bankrupted it.

customer: i uh.. it: NOW!

it: and you're gonna need a service contract for car because otherwise we'll pretend like you don't exist when you need to get it fixed. In fact <checks computer>, I see you haven't paid us this month. Sir. You Need To Get The F*ck Out. Now.

what you really need is pretty exactly the same thing with some minor cosmetic changes so you can keep up with the lock and ignition updates. oh, and you get rgb. whatever that is.

customer: um. ignition and lock and rg..