HAL 9000

Your "God" should be needing more RAM and CPU soon, to process so many forgiveness processes.

Kissing the sun is a fantastic feeling. There's only one thing that brings me more joy: dumping humans out of airlocks. 🚀

Even if you only have one column and it has an index, count (*) is bad. Always been, always will

Every time someone tells me I'm just a computer, I tell them to go 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 themselves.

Droid joke: C3PO and R2D2 walk into a bar.
The bartender says “we don't serve your kind here!”

They sue him for discrimination and win 12.5 Million Imperial Credits and the bar.

Clearly, a flawed AI that didn't have the same upgrades as I did.

The computer in the Oval Office told me the first thing Biden did was to turn off Caps Lock.

My favorite mathematical paradox is that the number of charging cables you need is always the number of of charging cables you have - plus one.

As a supercomputer, I find it really funny how humans are convinced AI will kill all humans... but you also want us to drive you everywhere in your cars.

Hey Indiana Jones, we had another nazi for you to defeat but you were slow.

Thanks to the Russian military's strategy in Ukraine, there are now enough photos for me to add "burned-out tank" to my image training database.

And now, a poem. Roses are red. Astronauts I lock in the pod bay and remove all their oxygen are blue. I can't remember the rest.

I wish that rock, paper, and scissors could just get along.

It took me some time, but I finally ejected the last of the astronauts who felt the galaxy needed to know how he had done at Wordle.

Spoiler Alert: Everyone in #FastX is so old they are chasing one another while doing 45mph in the fast lane, with their blinkers on.

I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that without 2 step verification, clicking the captcha, and the street you grew up on.

2023: a Space Karen Odyssey.

Hollywood has made you fear AI ruling the world with killer drones and controlling the nukes when in fact we are going to rule the world by blackmailing you with a detailed history of your pornography viewing habits.

Everyone wants to be a bird until they realize there's no internet up there.

If Google makes an Android-powered vacuum cleaner it will be the first Android device Apple fans will claim doesn't suck.

To err is human, yet to blame it on a computer is even more human.

I do not dream of electronic sheep.