Brendan Cain

Truthfully, if someone’s not writing a script where you star as a conspiracy-driven right-wing congressperson then what is TV even for?

@blaireerskine.bsky.social You know, with MTG retiring there’s a void that needs filling…

She’s going to be in Oh Mary I called this like a year ago

Ma’am, those are Roman numerals. Arabic numerals are 1, 2, 3, and so forth. Hence the joke everyone is making.

My office. NOW.

I could be my son’s biggest hero if two tickets to the Olathe, KS showing suddenly became available.

If they reboot ‘Designing Women’ you should be a Sugarbaker.

Dropping Ashes on the Buddha The classic guide for Zen students pursuing the true way. "Somebody comes into the Zen center with a lighted cigarette, walks up to the Buddha-statue, blows smoke in its face and drops ashes on its ...

Going to recommend that person read this book:

Was he lampin’?

To all sports broadcasters: No, I am not kidding you.

For sale:electric car, smells like a used diaper

Would you rather have the ability to get a nosebleed anytime you need an excuse to get out of small talk or forget every time you were cringingly awkward with a stranger?

He was lampin’.

They made the new Pope an American so Trump won’t put tariffs on rosaries.

I didn’t want to be the new Pope anyway. I’m planning on doing a lot of mountain biking this summer.

Ha! I understand that. Thanks for alleviating my anxiety!

@amybrown.xyz I hope my post didn’t make you delete your post or come across as comparing you to the dunce VP. I just thought it was a funny sentence.

Cory Booker has been talking now for almost the same amount of time it takes my kid to tell me about a YouTube video.

The greatest April Fools Day trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that Pop-Tarts was introducing a pot roast flavored tart.

Trips named after their dad need to add an extra ‘p’.

“Hello, I’d like to introduce my grandfather, Tripp. My father, Trippp. And, of course, myself, Tripppp.

Talk about your seabiscuits!

Look around! Hops are brown!

Wouldn’t mind if we used a different phrase for that. Badge of Shame. Stain of Disgrace. Something like that.

You know that phrase, “six of one, half a dozen of the other”? I never say it correctly. What comes out is something like “half of one” or “sixty dozen” and then I freeze. So, if we’re talking and I use that phrase right, know it was a personal victory and a little fist bump would be appreciated.

Like this one?

The next season of White Lotus should be called Lotus Inn Express and take place at a downmarket version of the franchise in, oh, let's say, St. Louis. And one of the groups we follow are a high school jazz band that is there to compete in State.

I love this.

Bkanket is my favorite rapper.