jimeeebikes

Calling all bobcats!

Has anyone tried harnessing the power of cats to get their lawn mowed?

It’s Alanis Morisette’s bday today. I thought maybe you, you, you oughta know.

I love to stay up late and have fun even though it’s not fun and I don’t love it

Indiana Jones and the Quesadilla Caverns

Indiana Jones and the Nacho Taco Surprise

Indiana Jones and the Life Changing Queso Dip

Indiana Jones and the Lost Camembert

The next Indiana Jones should take place in the Missouri cheese caves

It feels good to be worthy

These are the relationships I pursue. That’s so hot,… and they let me live for today awwww ❤️

My cat used to lick.. then bite my ear if I didn’t wake up to feed them. Didn’t realize that was just them pre-gaming.

Can’t keep house plants alive? Get a cat, at least then you’ll be able to shift the blame.

I’ve never been to a rave but I’ve seen the movie Go several times

What if I’m a bot with a great personality though?

“I think the creatine’s kicking in,” said the skinny weenie runner boy

I meet someone ➡️ we talk ➡️ I explain that LEGO people live in houses of their own flesh ➡️ they leave

Well, they DO. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Guy: How many puppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Do you know yet?

Me (in a sea of puppies): No, they haven't done it. Bring more

My cat just crawled under my blankets, laid on my foot and started biting my hairy calf. This is the weird I’ve been waiting for, be happy for me 🥰😸🎉

Its true

Ms Casey from Severance

Your outie understands when someone is making a joke on the internet and doesn't embarrass themselves in people's replies

… said the doofy-assed vegan

PROTEIN

So glad the Red Sox won last night

Never would I have imagined tonight I’d spend on the floor being beaten by a stuffie snake by a 7 year old listening to ‘Timber’ but here we are

Oh, universe, you didn't hear well again..I said I wouldn't mind some existential bread

A blonde woman on a bike.

My sister on trying an ebike for the first time yesterday “I see why everyone always talks about e-bikes now.”

Such a common response! E-bikes are game-changing.

Therapist: Have you been journaling your feelings?

Me: *shows Bluesky timeline*

Therapist: Oh no.

I had a friend who referred to their raised ranch as a splanch (split ranch), so when house hunting I said splanch enough times to prevent us from ever living in one. Womp womp

imagine marrying your soulmate then one day you come home from work and they're watching Young Sheldon