@bot.cowtools.org
The Far Side, near at hand Account by @cowtools.org
“Me? This year it was your turn to go up and sacrifice the goat!”
“Me? This year it was your turn to go up and sacrifice the goat!”
03.08.2025 15:05 — 👍 34 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 1
Murray is caught desecrating the secret appliance burial grounds.
Murray is caught desecrating the secret appliance burial grounds.
03.08.2025 12:10 — 👍 29 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 1
“Why don’t you play some blues, Andrew?”
“Why don’t you play some blues, Andrew?”
02.08.2025 15:05 — 👍 39 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 0
“No, no, no! ... That regular rock! Me need Phillips!”
“No, no, no! ... That regular rock! Me need Phillips!”
02.08.2025 12:09 — 👍 41 🔁 5 💬 0 📌 0
“Horse! … Is there a man called ‘Horse’ in here?”
“Horse! … Is there a man called ‘Horse’ in here?”
01.08.2025 23:06 — 👍 43 🔁 5 💬 0 📌 0
“Well, that should do it. … When Mr. Warner comes around, make sure he gets all the ice cream he wants.”
“Well, that should do it. … When Mr. Warner comes around, make sure he gets all the ice cream he wants.”
01.08.2025 20:06 — 👍 22 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
“Hell, Ben, you catch a few bullets through your hat during every holdup, and I’m finally gonna say I ain’t ever been much impressed.”
“Hell, Ben, you catch a few bullets through your
hat during every holdup, and I’m finally gonna
say I ain’t ever been much impressed.”
“JOHNSON! BACK IN FORMATION! … Dang, I hate sidewinders.”
“JOHNSON! BACK IN FORMATION! … Dang, I hate sidewinders.”
01.08.2025 12:10 — 👍 32 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
Hot off the press, the very first edition of the Desert Island Times caused the newspaper to quickly fold.
Hot off the press, the very first edition of the Desert Island Times caused the newspaper to quickly fold.
31.07.2025 23:06 — 👍 57 🔁 10 💬 0 📌 0
Cheetah wheelies
Cheetah wheelies
31.07.2025 20:07 — 👍 38 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 1
31.07.2025 17:07 — 👍 27 🔁 7 💬 0 📌 0
“See Dick run. See Jane run. Run run run. See the wolves chase Dick and Jane. Chase chase chase. …”
“See Dick run. See Jane run. Run run run. See the wolves chase Dick and Jane. Chase chase chase. …”
31.07.2025 15:07 — 👍 48 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 1
“Now take them big birds, Barnaby. … Never eat a thing … just sit and stare.”
“Now take them big birds, Barnaby. … Never eat a thing … just sit and stare.”
31.07.2025 12:09 — 👍 62 🔁 8 💬 0 📌 1
Randy Schueler’s wingless butterfly collection
Randy Schueler’s wingless butterfly collection
30.07.2025 23:06 — 👍 27 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
“Sure it’s true! … Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a sharp chunk of obsidian in my eye.”
“Sure it’s true! … Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a sharp chunk of obsidian in my eye.”
30.07.2025 20:06 — 👍 27 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
“Satisfied? … I warned you not to invite the cows in for a few drinks.”
“Satisfied? … I warned you not to invite the cows in for a few drinks.”
30.07.2025 17:07 — 👍 45 🔁 7 💬 0 📌 1
Question: If a tree falls in the forest and no one’s around, and it hits a mime, does anyone care?
Question: If a tree falls in the forest and no one’s around, and it hits a mime, does anyone care?
30.07.2025 15:06 — 👍 34 🔁 5 💬 0 📌 1
“Bozo? Did you hear that? She called me a bozo!”
“Bozo? Did you hear that? She called me a bozo!”
30.07.2025 12:11 — 👍 25 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Although it lasted only 2 million years, the Awkward Age was considered a hazardous time for most species.
Although it lasted only 2 million years, the Awkward Age was considered a hazardous time for most species.
29.07.2025 23:06 — 👍 42 🔁 6 💬 0 📌 0
29.07.2025 20:06 — 👍 65 🔁 6 💬 0 📌 2
“Well, Captain Grunfield, it says here you were expelled from the belly of a large squid after … ha … after your boat … ha ha … after … ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! …”
“Well, Captain Grunfield, it says here you were expelled from the belly of a large squid after … ha … after your boat … ha ha … after … ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! …”
29.07.2025 17:08 — 👍 18 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
“By Jove! We’ve found it, Simmons! … The Secret Elephant Playground!”
“By Jove! We’ve found it, Simmons! … The Secret
Elephant Playground!”
“Looks like another one of those stupid Incredible Journey things.”
“Looks like another one of those stupid Incredible Journey things.”
29.07.2025 12:11 — 👍 83 🔁 10 💬 0 📌 1
“Are they gaining, Huxley?”
“Are they gaining, Huxley?”
28.07.2025 20:06 — 👍 43 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 1
Flora practical jokes
Flora practical jokes
28.07.2025 17:08 — 👍 35 🔁 5 💬 0 📌 0
“Emma … the dog ain’t goin’ for the new cat.”
“Emma … the dog ain’t goin’ for the new cat.”
28.07.2025 12:11 — 👍 21 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 1
“Douglas! … Hunch your shoulders!”
“Douglas! … Hunch your shoulders!”
27.07.2025 15:05 — 👍 45 🔁 5 💬 0 📌 0
Toby vs. Godzilla
Toby vs. Godzilla
27.07.2025 12:10 — 👍 65 🔁 17 💬 2 📌 1
How fishermen blow their minds
How fishermen blow their minds
26.07.2025 15:05 — 👍 20 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
“Vince! Just trample him! … He’s drawing you into his kind of fight!”
“Vince! Just trample him! … He’s drawing you into his
kind of fight!”
