Jish (Picaresque Account)

Money can buy you a steak, but it can’t buy you someone’s heart. - Jish

Wiping my dick off like a samurai sword

Comic I made when I was in grade school

Did Olivia Rodrigo really think she was going to stop being a superstar?

This is the most boring story I’ve ever heard

The technician that told me to reset my phone didn’t give me very good advice

Shirt off. Lmk if this is hot

Before I leave the house, I say all my duas and mashallahs

I take multiple ludes

I’m so high right now

TSA pulled me out of line to check my urethra for Labubus

(me, menacingly): you've read your last free article

Remembering the British guy at the T Mobile store, who was really into the pop punk music that was playing over the store radio

If releasing the names in the Epstein files causes the system to collapse, then the system needs to collapse.

Chubby, small penis Batman fucks twink Robin

Rocky the rock troll. This was a huge one in terms of feeling like I was in control of the painting, and it only took me more than a decade to get there.

This whole cell phone situation is making me want to commit suicide

screen shot of same ad, edited to say "every day is a bad day with...major depressive disorder - don't kill yourself!" and that stupid disco dancing mirror ball

so did i, so i made it into one

rodney dangerfield

They're calling HRT a "sex-rejecting procedure" now. I guess that means my wife gives me HRT every night!

I could give two shits about some rich, Bible teacher

Koyaanisqatsi, 50 First Dates, Dexter, Johnny Mnemonic, etc

If you tell me about some dumbass bet you made I don’t need to see receipts. I believe you. Let’s just get this interaction over with

It's actually concerning how much happier I am on gray days, I have a brain disease that makes the sun an opp

Money

headline on cnn that reads: CNN Reporter faces a great white shark. Why wasn't he bitten?

maybe the reporter wasn't hungry

No one believes I live by a strict moral code

good things come to those who gape

When I’m fired, I’m telling my boss that I’ve thought too much about how fucked up it was to not get a bonus this year, and everyone I know said the same thing