crow 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩🇭🇹

new rationale albummmmm hehhehhehhehheh

once again im reminded that i am horrifyingly cursed to be human. that someone took the vast entirety of my being and shoved it into a sack of meat and blood and bone. my soul has been confined and bound to a vessel that knows decay and age. it will crumble and break around me while i can just watch

jinkies

i hate having dreams about someone i don’t know anymore and trying to fix everything that went wrong and it slowly working, but then i wake up and none of it mattered. we’re still not close anymore and i know it was my fault

strangers avoid saying things to me until i’m out in the cold in shorts and a tshirt and they are making comments of “arent you cold?” “its not summer” “i’m freezing and i’m in a jacket” like yea i’m just built different or incorrectly and either don’t get cold or enjoy the pain of being cold

i need to go home and watch gay boys be gay together because if the doctor calls me fat again i’m gonna fuckin let them see just how much i hold back to be a normal functioning human in society

and then when i’m finally at the office it’s like wow idk why i was stressing i’m a god actually. like so powerful and strong and no one can do anything to me ever. how lucky these mortals are that i graced them with my presence. which i assume means i am masking as hard as i possibly can

i would rather do anything else than go to a doctor. leaving the house, driving, and then talking to a doctor? that’s horrid. why would anyone do this. i should just have to go to a mechanic for diagnostics why do i have to be reminded i have flesh

as if a fictional ship is more important than the real relationship you had together? if i dont ship the same characters my friends do we just send each other fanart of each others ships. i kin certain characters so i know sometimes how strong that is but still it’s nothing to lose a friendship over

also btw if you couldn’t tell animal mating rituals is my special interest. animals in general are my special interest. i love weird animal facts and animal information and i’m always learning more things i didn’t know (or was lied to by animal planet 😤) and it’s my favorite topic always and forever

like it is incredibly natural for all these weird fucking animals to have their weird fucking. its cool that we exist in a world that doesn’t have a “natural order” because nature is inherently chaotic and strange and different and we can see that by humans trying and failing to dictate other humans

whiptail lizards are all female and reproduce asexually but still take turns bottoming and topping, some snails have penis darts and are pregnant if they get hit, some flatworms have penis jousting and sometimes eat the penis after, some octopus take off their penis and toss it to their mate

clownfish transition, platypus lay eggs, female hyenas have bigger clits than male hyenas and she uses it, some species of anglerfish the male bites and melt onto female anglerfish to become testicles so that the female can impregnate herself later but until then just has a bunch of testes,

someone is trying to argue with me that dnd druids wouldn’t be gay because they “believe it defies the natural order” but im always ready to have my “the animal kingdom is HELLA GAY AND WEIRD AND STRANGE” humans are the only ones who have decided that “some sex is bad” and THAT IS MORE UNNATURAL!!!!

my urge to upend my life and just drive somewhere else is eating away at my mind. the problem is, the thing i want to run away from i can never escape because i’ll be anywhere i go

shipping all these gay men together makes me feel like i transitioned just to be a fujoshi

i’m having hair cut urges again… it finally grew out enough and i have to be so careful

even just video chatting someone would be fun lol

i really want to do something today but i pretty much know no one in this whole fuckin state lol

i definitely do catastrophize these things tho. a mix of agoraphobia and anxiety and medical trauma will do that to a person. no amount of “you have great veins” praise will ever make it worth it

they stole my blood and piss and called me fat so like… normal doctors appointment i suppose

spelling mistake repost weeeeeee

“so what pronouns do you use?” any “so he/him?” sure “or she/her” that works “or they/them” yep “but what do you want us to call you” it literally doesn’t matter

the fact that in order to even be seen i had to move to a state that had state healthcare that you could apply for without income and my inability to get a job was a catalyst for “guess i’ll just see doctors first since i haven’t found a job” is so very stupid and very american

i’ve gotten labs done, but this is the first time i’ve had health insurance and been able to go to an actual doctor in like… 10 years. i got less than 4 hours of sleep and just feel stressed. turns out, i might be scared of doctors lol. which makes sense considering trauma. i can’t cancel either

Two cartoon crows flutter around a candle.

A narration box reads "Two inky lovebirds by candlelight..." as we see one of the cartoon crows blow out the candle.

The crows snuggle as the room darkens and smoke rises from the extinguished candle.

The panel is now completely dark, with only the crow eyes visible. The crows normally are drawn with only 1 eyes visible, but in the dark it looks like two eyes together. The narration box reads : "... Become one in the dark".

⊙︿⊙

he said gun violence was an unfortunate price to pay for the second amendment. so idk why anyone is mourning him. this is what he wanted. this was the thing he fought, and now, died for. and the ONLY thing that could have saved him was, ironically, gun control.

and surprise surprise one person HAD talked about all of those things but, instead of caring about the people dying, had said it should all happen more or that it’s happening because “they deserve it” and called for more violence. that doesnt sound like someone who would feel bad about his own death

“think of his kids” i’m sorry i’m still wondering why school shootings still happen or why trans people are murdered or why we’re sending money and weapons to kill kids in Palestine or why Black people are still brutalized by police or why people of color are being rounded up and thrown into camps

a cis white man can be violently racist, transphobic, homophobic, dismiss school shootings and deny genocides but when he dies suddenly its “take the high road” “be the bigger person” “violence isn’t good for anyone”. hey if someone is calling for violence and gets met by violence that’s just karma