Kelly

The absolute hate for Eldest Daughter b/c she uses cringe slang when she says 20 seconds in “I’ve been dying just from trying to seem cool.”

I just feel like no one these days would have survived my high school English class with Mrs. L. She’d have chewed every one of you all the way up.

Had a 12 hour work day AT the office, followed by mom duty (w/2 tear filled fits) for 2.5 hours, then another 2.5 hours of work in home office.

Stumble to bed and this man who sleeps in my bed is cuddling my pillow making it hot instead of cold.

God really said, “Try again tomorrow.”

This! My stuff from The Limited is 15-25 years old and looks like it did when I bought it. RIP The Limited.

a man in a suit and bow tie is sitting in a chair . ALT: a man in a suit and bow tie is sitting in a chair .

Not saying it’s healthy for anyone involved. It’s definitely not. But we live in a hellscape, and that kid is my entire heart and the reason I even bother trying.

So follow the bus, keep an airtag in their bag, just do what you have to so you stay sane.

I keep seeing people making fun of moms following their kid’s school bus so they get to school safely. And I don’t know, man. I don’t do it, but I get it. We live in a country where I hope every single day that she comes home OK.

Our anxiety isn’t born from nothing.

I’ve created the best “Man, if you don’t get out of my face” (emphasis on the man) playlist. From GloRilla to Fleetwood Mac. Perfection.

I’m a curator. A hormonal music savant. 😂

Still my favorite line. Ever. Of any genre. I have it on a scribbled sticky note on my laptop to remind me to tighten up my prose when I’m writing.

Sometimes I’m sitting at my desk doing my capitalism tasks and randomly remember that Kennedy Ryan once wrote the line, “I’d play you at the five.”

That one line shattered the lie my snobby Lit degree told me—that romance is unworthy.

Because, baby, Dickens could never.

Truth. Just completed this transaction yesterday

I wonder how many sourdough starters will be born this weekend.

Amazing how peak masculinity for a Republican is swearing that you’re too afraid to go outside

Went to see Freakier Friday with the kiddo. Better than I thought it would be and not only b/c of Manny Jacinto.

Respectfully, sir…👀 🔥

Vonnegut called it

Age 8 is hilarious. Eventually all this weird silliness will fade away into teenage nonsense. Gonna soak up the weird while I can. 😂

a woman speaking into a microphone with the words eject me from this suffering Alt: a woman speaking into a microphone with the words eject me from this suffering

Another day, another instance of me showing how AI got it wrong—AGAIN— and explaining that I know because I used the brain I’ve spent TWENTY YEARS developing professionally to ascertain nuance.

Making us stupid is the entire point.

I wrote something 3 days ago that I thought was good. I came back to it tonight and… it’s still good? Usually I’m like, “See, it’s terrible. Told you.”

What’s happening?

Gang’s all here, Lyla Sage. ❤️

No one passes around more “whats?” and “huhs” and “what are you talking about?” than a woman in her mid 40’s and her postpartum teammate with a baby who won’t sleep. 😂

Yes

I Hate It Here - T. Swizz
Cassandra - T. Swizz

Seven years today without my dad. The big anniversary days don’t hit as hard for me. It’s the random moments I want to reach for my phone and tell him how hilarious his granddaughter is.

But god, it’s really not fucking fair. At all. Grief is the curviest bitch there is.

Today was great. My kid and I went to run some errands. With an iced coffee in my hand, the sun shining, and screaming Pink Pony Club with the sunroof open, I forgot about the world for a minute, and it was glorious.

Find your peace when you can.

Sometimes when I feel like it’s all hopeless, I remember how desperately I wish my dad was here to help me process this and how lost I feel w/o him. Then I remember I’m that person for my kid, niece, and nephew.

I need to be that for them. So I find the small slivers of hope, and keep trying.

This is unbelievable. Mahomes just falling all the way apart. The entire O line looking like a high school team out here.

Rooting for someone other than Taylor to win AOTY when she’s nominated is a strange feeling for me. But Cowboy Carter deserves it in every single way.

Go Tay for songwriting though, b/c that bridge from Smallest Man deserves an award.

Cannot overstate how much this is the **exact vibe** of the book I’ve been writing for two gd years and can’t seem to get past 80%. 😂

a man taking a picture with a camera with #schitts creek on the bottom ALT: a man taking a picture with a camera with #schitts creek on the bottom

Do I have one book stalled at 80%, one with 3,000 scenes and no cohesive plot line? Yes.

Is that stopping me from envisioning the next brother having a marriage of convenience book for the 3rd in the series? No.

Am I starting to hear them in my head already? *sigh* Yes…

Help me.

Things I take for granted and shouldn’t: I cut the shit out of my finger and had to go get stitches. My sister is 3 miles away. I text “bringing kiddo over. Need to go to urgent care.” She said “I can come get her.”

10/10 having your person 3 miles away. 1000/10 actually.

Me! kellywrites

Random thing I hate: calling something “butter soft.”

Stop 🛑