Lance Arthur

I thought all the bands I heard on the radio, which was a thing we had where you could only hear certain popular songs over and over, were there live, actually playing at the station.

Michael Caine
Lawrence Kasdan
Buck Owens
The Dancing Baby
Darth Vader

It tastes like drinking sparkling copper penny juice and I love it.

“When you start feeling bad about yourself and think you’re an asshole or whatever, consider the friends you have. Are they assholes? Kind, nice, thoughtful people are never friends with assholes.”

I just made more gravy.

My annual Thanksgiving tradition begins. Jodie Foster’s “Home For The Holidays” starring Holly Hunter, Robert Downey, Jr., Anne Bancroft, Charles Durning, Dylan McDermott, and ladies and gentlemen, Steve Gutenberg. It’s everything you need and nothing you want about being home with the family.

Remember when everyone was really upset about gas stoves?

I miss 15 minutes ago.

Because it was completely, irredeemably, inarguably terrible in every way imaginable, or nah?

Albert Brooks IS Det. Dave Starsky IN Starsky Without Hutch! Coming to max in twenty-twenty-f… no, we’ve just learned it’s been cancelled for tax purposes.

My nominations:
Most 80s movie of the 80s: The Breakfast Club
Most 90s movie of the 90s: Clueless

Nuns high-stepping in a filthy London alley singing “every sperm is sacred.”

If you haven’t heard “Every Sperm Is Sacred” or watched Mr. Creosote consume one “wafer-thin mint” in a while, Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life is currently only $5 to add it to your film library via iTunes.

The simultaneous life experiences of seeing the rise of fascism around the world AND the decline of humanity due to its own environmental hubris AND the singularity leading to the end of life due to an uncontrollable AI deciding we’re a plague or something is a trifecta I could do without. Thanks.

UK PM Sunak reportedly said 'just let people die', COVID inquiry hears | Reuters Prime Minister Rishi Sunak was quoted as saying the government should "just let people die" during the COVID-19 pandemic rather than impose a second national lockdown, the inquiry into how Britain han...

Huh. Well, I um... Huh.
www.reuters.com/world/uk/uk-...

Random AI prompt: “The C.E.O. of a dying social media site is in the executive washroom looking at her reflection in a mirror. She is singing ‘I Believe In You’ from the musical ‘How To Succeed In Business (Without Really Trying)’ to herself. The site owner’s head peeks in the door. He is grinning.”

Please post what you will wear when you become a dictator. This is mine.

When a person can buy literally anything they want, everything is available.

I have heard that from others as well.

🥯🫶

I just got high and did a really foolish thing, but I think that’s my lifestyle now.

Important P.S.: this works best with plain bagels, as the toppings are more likely to burn. If you like sesame or poppy seed or “everything,” buy some of that and sprinkle it on the cream cheese (plus it won’t fall off). I get my “everything” mix from oaktownspiceshop.com/collections/...

I mean, that’s just evil.

Stream your eggs instead of boiling them. They won’t end up with cracked shells or bloated bits sticking out, plus they end up tender instead of rubbery. Steam for 15 minutes, and don’t bother with the ice bath. It’s unnecessary and you want to allow the eggs to rest without shocking the poor dears.

When toasting bagels at home, do not cut them first. Place the whole, uncut bagel in the toaster oven for 4-5 minutes. When you take it out, carefully slice it in half using a bread knife while holding it in a dish towel. The crust will be crisp and crunchy, and the interior will be hot and steamy.

“She’s my daughter. She’s my sister… my daughter… my sister….”

A perfect album that came out when I was 21.