Zero’s mental health account

It’s not the cup I wanted but my mom did promise to take me to Portland for my birthday. Dad said he’s okay with it. I was gonna give up on this trip because my parents owe hella money in taxes.

I even offered to help pay (and i probably still will help) but mom said no.

It doesn’t happen often anymore but it used to happen all the time

“It’s the thought that counts”

Yeah. But thoughts aren’t tangible.

My mom told me this morning she tried to get me something but she forgot about it and went back two days later to find it was sold out.

I’m trying not to be disappointed and nothing I needed but why tell me. I already figured she wasn’t gonna get it but this hurt worse for some reason.

I was talking with my boss the other day. Taking about why our kids are struggling academically and I basically said “we don’t know their home lives right now. How many of them are scared because their parents could be deported for no reason.”

He agreed with me and blamed political things.

We don’t have to bandwidth right now to care about what’s going on in other countries when trump is also killing and deporting our legal citizens in broad daylight while we are fighting.

“Americans only care about themselves”

Sounds like

“We don’t know the atrocities happening in America and don’t care to learn.”

Because yes America is doing bad things to other countries. It’s also doing bad things TO AMERICANS IN AMERICA.

I have never felt so grateful to live in a rain shadow…

We got notification that ICE may be in town.

And just told to be aware if attendance is more sparse today.

I always hate the “teachers just need to teach” sentiment because I’m also expected to be a therapist, teach proper behavior, have empathy, etc, on top of teaching math.

There’s a teacher strike happening in a city like 75 miles north of me and the vitriol for the teachers striking tells me we learned nothing from 2020.

btw, this is totally different from people being happy that people are suffering.

don't conflate the two.

i'm only specifying because despite the fact i don't think this will get out of my circle, the iq of the internet is in the negatives.

basically, if you have the PRIVILEGE of CHOOSING to be unhappy, you're literally scum of the earth.

so go forth, enjoy the holidays and if you try to say "BUT PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING" i promise you some Tia is gonna come with a chancla and smack you into next year.

YES, I AM HER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT WHITE PERSON.

she will tell you her reality, but she'll also tell you to be happy.

she's one of the happiest people i know but i also know she's fighting the fight.

i've had to come with her to things as a token white person and watched how people treated her.

my coworker, who is mexican and has had some ICE scares, is also fed up with all the doomposting.

she has a family member who is like this and she's just like "stop bringing us down. i'm going to enjoy my family and my holidays"

basically saying she's going to be happy to spite everyone.

seasonal affect disorder is kicking my butt, so i know that means i need to start exercising... someday.

or play silent hill f when it's not dark outside

and then i was like "so mom. you know we're in the 'let them eat cake' part of the french revolution right?" with some other words i will not repeat on social media because i don't want big brother after me.

my mom literally told me this morning she had no idea how evil the right was.

and i'm here like "you JUST figured this out?"

my parents taught me growing up to not rely on 'government handouts' because 'the government will take it away'. what they meant was the democrats -- i don't think they meant the people they voted for.

Imagine not paying your federal workers and being pikachu face when they stop showing up to work.

Wow. I decided it wasn’t my problem anymore when a student emails me “she can’t show up to conference” and I email her back asking her for a time. Then call and there is no answer.

All I did was document it and decided it was no longer my problem and i am not stressing over it.

The big difference I can think of now is that I’m standing when I make them. Idk how it helps but it must have some psychological advantage.

I made another parent phone call!!!!

I wasn’t scared. OMFG.

What is this?

His sister scheduled a conference time but he didn’t. I just found out he has a sister in high school.

He’s dead.

Also. I’ve been calling parents and not terrified.

Please understand my phone anxiety is huge and this is a huge huge huge step forward for me.

Student’s dad: wait it’s conference week?
Me: yes.

Oh this kid is dead lol.

I’m sincerely hoping I am paranoid about my vice principal being out to get me. Like she’s trying to catch me doing something bad that she can go “aha, I knew it!”

Worked out this weekend and my anxiety is basically gone. At least I have another method to help other than just do cbt.

Wonder what tomorrow is gonna look like. Ice has been confirmed to be in the city I work for at the gas stations.

School is a safe zone but some families feel safer staying home.