Matt

Fuck it. I’m having a Baileys.

Huge mood, both the text and the image

Academics finishing the semester: FINALLY I can start working on my work!

I love this idea

My favorite book

ME: and make mine a double

WAITER: your..your tater tots?

ME: you heard me

"Do not take this medication within an hour of drinking tea or coffee"

Sir, that is not a time that exists in my waking life.

A real life angel just came around the library handing out free energy drinks

Trying to write this paper feels like trying to hold my hand on a hot stovetop.

And getting smaller as my finals deadlines approach

Sorry we’re not riding at dawn. We’re having coffee and catastrophizing the day at dawn. Then we’re doing Wordle. Then we’re doing 35 minutes of doomscrolling, then we’re taking the longest hottest shower, then we’re sitting on the edge of the bed staring at nothing for a while, THEN maybe we ride.

pouring the coffee into my ears so the caffeine reaches my brain faster

The beautiful thing about the movie Galaxy Quest is that I’m only somewhat sure Alan Rickman was acting and not just deeply irritated to be in the movie Galaxy Quest

The fact that Disney bought Star Wars and bought the Muppets and haven’t done a Muppets Star Wars is a crime.

me: i have a bunch of anxiety rn

brain: how bout a coffee

me: idk sounds like a bad idea

brain: iced coffee

me: ok yeah that makes more sense

My writing process is usually:

a) I got this
b) well, fuck
c) wait that part was real good
d) wait no that part sucks
e) I am a god of this place
f) the fuck is this shit, who do I think I am, why am I here
g) oh man I just figured it all out
h) mistakes were made
I) existential dread

Me: I've got so much information in my brain that I need to consolidate

ADHD: I refuse to remember it

Me: okay can we write it down then

ADHD: Not a chance

Whilst you slumbered, I studied the blade.*

*watched all 240 episodes of The History Channel’s competition series Forged in Fire in a delirious binge

Can we stop making live action remakes of everything and start making muppet remakes of every film and musical

Egregious spending in November, somebody stop me

This would explain my ability to offer brilliant insights and be incredible while simultaneously struggling to get both of my braincells to interact

Public library energy is the best energy. Like here is all the knowledge we could find, it's been meticulously organized and vetted and it will cost you nothing today, welcome to the absolute pinnacle of human civic evolution, feel free to pull up any bean bag chair you like

Sometimes I look at the art on my walls and think about how the idea of art may be older than the idea of walls.

Heading out of the city of New Orleans on the train called The City of New Orleans listening to City of New Orleans by Willie Nelson

I'm going to owe my master's degree to Sabaton and the keurig in the gta office

Forgetting your headphones at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Oh, you "heard" there was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord? Cite your sources, bro. This is how misinformation spreads