Dark Table

A photo of an ice cream machine with a sign reading, "Anything is possible with ice cream." Beneath that is a hand lettered sign reading, "No ice cream".

2026 basically

a cartoon character is holding a little caesars pizza Alt: a cartoon character is holding a little caesars pizza slides down a hallway.

He did his own stunts too, apparently.

a group of soldiers are standing in a row wearing helmets and armor . ALT: a group of soldiers are standing in a row wearing helmets and armor .

Fade In: MIKE HELLDIVER is sitting in his Super Earth apartment. He’s watching Starship Troopers on his SuperTV.
MIKE: This movie kicks ass!

There are folks around the world whose whole career is designing and building these vehicles that are designed for a single purpose. “Yeah, it’s a giant truck that drops concrete pylons at specific intervals for high speed rail. This guy built the special cart that refills the pylon tray.”

Fuck’s Sake

I wanted the guy to recognize and accept that _he_ was the thing that needed to be removed to restore the timeline instead of a death star explosion resolving everything.

Yeah, but you would never do something as heinous as *checks notes* “get married and run a small business.” 😬

“Hey Mike, you heading to DICE or GDC this year?”

I remember thinking that would’ve been a more thoughtful but less dramatic conclusion to the story. He deletes himself from history after debating with Janeway & we see his wife is alive again, but married to someone else, and Paris and Kim are telling jokes back on Voyager because nothing happened.

U.K. might lose a prime minister because a guy who worked for him knew another guy who hung out with Epstein. Meanwhile the U.S. opposition party is telling our President, who was Epstein's best friend, that his secret police should get better training so their public street murders look less messy.

why we stop making computers look fresh

My favorite bit is that the cord comes out of the bottom of the controller, but you bend it around and clip it so it faces the console.

It would be hilarious if some episodes he has a limp, or a black eye, or his arm in a sling, and no one ever mentions it except to say “skiing accident?” In the background you see news coverage of Killer Croc being taken into custody, or something.

This could be about anyone.

A Victreebel Pokémon.

My first mental image was a ghost type evolution of Victreebel.

a man in a batman mask says " swear to me " in white letters Alt: a man in a batman mask says " swear to me " in white letters

Same energy:

Happy Death Day was really fun. What if Scream & Groundhog Day kissed?

💯☝️

I wonder how much they paid the rube who brought it in?

Interior of a compact car with a playful, toy-like design. The dashboard, steering wheel, gear shift, and door handles are brightly colored in blue, teal, yellow, and red, with rounded shapes and oversized buttons. The upholstery features a patterned fabric, giving the cabin a whimsical, late-1990s concept-car aesthetic.

Imagine breaking up with someone in the MCC Smart Eco-Speedster Concept Car (1993)

But alas, no Shatterstar. 😞

Wonder Man. Doesn’t matter if you don’t do Marvel or dislike superhero stuff. It’s just a short, fun show about an aspiring actor who’s in a different kind of closet.

rick and morty are sitting at a table with a crocodile and the words " this guy gets it " on the bottom Alt: rick and morty are sitting at a table with a crocodile and the words " this guy gets it " on the bottom

I’ll just be diplomatic and say hats off to the gorilla tag team. 🫡

They built something really fun that must have required tons of goggles-on iteration.

.@grok what is the deal with airplane peanuts?

Trevor Slattery made me cry. Didn’t see that in the cards after watching Iron Man 3.

I can’t imagine how sad Eugene Levy must be.