michael the good place quotes

"i figured out the solution to the trolley problem..."

"You're my friends and I wanted to save you"

"oh, and look, my arms end in stupid little sticks"

"and somehow nazis, again.?"

"you humans have too many emotions! you only need two; anger and confusion!"

"aw farts"

"they’re all french, so they’re going to the bad place automatically“

"in this realm ihop stands for international hole of pancakes. you don't really eat these pancakes, it's more like they eat you."

"jason figured it out? jason? this is a real low point. yeah, this one hurts"

"no. no, no, no. it's that you never found a haircut that framed your face properly"

"I'm not meant for any of this, Eleanor, I'm just middle management!"