Adam Avitable

Omega Reign an epic superhero novel by Bill Coffin In Hudson City, hero Praetorian, burdened by 75 years of sacrifice, dares a villain to trigger a quantum doomsday device.

I would love for Bill to get his novel made. Check out his Kickstarter and consider backing Omega Reign on @kickstarter.com, just like me!

www.kickstarter.com/projects/the...

I searched for that, but nothing shows up that's relevant. Did they delete it after Women's History Month ended? That would be pretty shitty because it was a great playlist!

Hi @altmadison.bsky.social - how do we find the playlist you and Kat curated recently - the women of Lithium? I have been unable to find it!

I’m starting a task force to spread anti-Christian bias. Who’s with me?

The stupidest people in the world are convinced that Elon Musk is a genius. Do with that what you will.

Trump has been in a medically induced coma for a year and his 2028 re-election seems inevitable.

No one has heard from JD Vance since he underwent the Neuralink procedure in 2026.

Elon Musk only exists as a digital AI uploaded to every server by Presidential mandate. He’s still a Nazi.

The lower class, relegated to using bidets and eating woke foods like avocados, trade their advanced degrees as currency, performing science experiments in secret, risking death from violating the EO prohibiting Americans from being smarter than the President.

The year is 2027.
The ruling class flaunts their wealth by pelting each other with eggs and toilet paper while farting and spitting.

A new memo has circulated requiring all agencies to remove toilet paper from all federal bathrooms and mandates shitting in your hand and throwing it at journalists and Democrats as a sign of solidarity with the President's shit-throwing agenda.

Illegal immigrant and ketamine addict Elon Musk made a little moustache with the President's shit and called himself Shitler for the rest of the day. "This will get the edgelords to like me for another day," he said. "Plus comedy is legal now."

"Masterfully thrown," said JD Vance as he wiped the splattered shit off of his face.
"Yummy, I wish I was there," reported Jesse Waters from Fox News.
"What a powerful show of strength from Daddy," exclaimed Tucker Carlson.

BREAKING NEWS: President Trump shit in his hand this morning and threw it at a photo array of people who oppose him, including journalists, Democrats, and all of the former members of his Cabinet. The excrement was yellow and soup-like and covered most of his team in addition to the photos.

I wish Trump was more concerned with the qualifications of his GED hires than the DEI hires.

Thank you!

It’s my birthday, though the thought of celebrating anything right now seems difficult. Liquor will help.

Just got fired by a Truth Social post. I was the DEI coordinator of our nation’s rainbow facility, ensuring that rainbows were handed out on a 3:1 ratio to queer Americans.

If you refresh the TikTok app, it’s now a Spirit Halloween.

I think it’s time for California to stop supporting welfare red states and focus their energy on long term fire prevention and state-specific initiatives.

Today is the four year anniversary of one of the most shameful moments in our nation’s history, which includes among its roster the start of the Civil War, the elections of Trump, and the introduction of Crystal Pepsi.

It’s short for Garland or Garage or Gallery.

When I drive by an attractive woman jogging, I always honk, roll my window down, and yell "I admire your commitment to your health!"

Christmas Eve implies the existence of Christmas Adam, who ruins the party for everyone, blames it on Eve, and then makes out with Lilith under the mistletoe.

The best friends in the world will see something that reminds them of you and just send it to you for no reason. And then you have the friends at a whole new level who send you gifts like this.

Dating Kinda Sucks An honest, raw, and hilarious podcast about dating, sex, and relationships, hosted by millennial serial dater Sarah G and grizzled comedian Adam Avitable. Whether you're single, committed, or it's com...

The 7th season finale of Dating Kinda Sucks is out, and I'd love for you to check it out! This week we talked about traveling in Taiwan, dating in Tulsa, and answer a listener question -does she actually like her boyfriend? Check us out on any podcast app or YouTube today!

pod.link/1360565233

Authorities are now reporting that the assassin has dreamy eyes and smells like cinnamon sugar cookies.

Apparently my new favorite genre is “Pixie Gen Z Alternative Pop”

thankful for ibuprofen

A music festival poster made up from my Spotify listening history, featuring Jax, NIN, Kesha, Billie Eilish, Marilyn Manson, Taylor Swift, and more.

Avitafest will be the most eclectically confusing mix of music you've ever listened to in your life, but free vodka Red Bulls for everyone! Clothing optional (obviously).

10pm at your parents’ house as an adult feels like 3am at your own apartment.

I’m thankful for vodka Red Bull.