Sol Marburg

I hate gay Halloween like what do you mean you’re a self-referential social media post costume?

Pavlov’s insurance employees

I’ve never seen The Office but listening to all my coworkers one by one say “Ooooh, Qdoba!” when they see the Qdoba catered lunch in the break room when it’s literally the only type of food my company ever caters in feels like a scene from The Office.

Heard outside a coffee shop: “I wanna be in a relationship too, because…I dunno, it’s just the time of year”

A performance art piece but it’s just me getting increasingly more exasperated with those around me.

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Matcha LaBubu is my drag name

Don’t forget us little people

happy pride month x

I’m not sure why I ever get my hopes up for humanity when such a large part of my job is simply explaining to clients that they cannot reply to our automated emails which are literally sent from the email address “DoNotReply@CompanyName.com”

The paparazzi hounding me following my latest scandal (stopped at Dunkin’ after telling myself I was gonna watch my spending)

This used to be a huge problem when there was still a 7-Eleven across the street from me, Fox would use the alleyway as our personal parking space unblocking entirely, and then other folks would just roll up and lay on the horn until they move

@sorenspicknall.bsky.social great to meet you and poke around your one-of-a-kind specialized art transport unit!

Technically this means the new Popemobile falls under the jurisdiction of the CTA sorry I don’t make the rules.

Based on the number of stories I have seen it on today, I think the male homos were and are perfectly capable of beating that one to death without needing any help from the straight women 🤣

I would say it’s a combination of allowing people to spread a certain narrative or disinformation while still being able to claim that they did technically present all the facts, and the fact that the further down you make people scroll the more ads you get them to view

I met a celebrity (and delightful human to boot)

I was gonna say she was basically the same age as the rest of the cast

Friendly reminder to writers that the risk of starting off with jokes about how a character is old and probably going to die soon is that that the actor playing the character is probably also old and may very well actually die soon.

He wore the cheesehead hat in WI. Spent $20 million. Paid people to sign petitions. Paid people to canvas. Did million dollar giveaways. A rally. TV interviews. But I guess people in Wisconsin didn’t appreciate an oligarch trying to buy their civil liberties.

Saw that, v happy for you haha it’s goals

Not sure how this ended up as a two part thread, but here is the auto-generated code that the Lotus Cars website gave me to save/share my Emira build 👀

Okay, this is my newest very very favorite meme.

Shot. Chaser.

My entire Bluesky feed in a nutshell

The category for the NYT Strands puzzle a few days ago was “Pie Fillings” and I can’t decide if the creator made an oopsie or if they knew exactly what they were doing.

Spilled balsamic vinaigrette on my crotch during lunch so I got to go into my last meeting smelling like an Olive Garden and looking like I just pissed myself 🙃

People of Chicago: you do not get some kind of magical driving bonus brownie points for driving extra slow past a speed camera. The city won’t mail you a gift card for slamming on the brakes to get down to 19 in a 35.

I, on the other hand, may throw a potato at you if you do this in front of me.

oh god what have i done