Russ Ames

Tonight I learned two things.

1) if you remove all the empty space in all the atoms in the universe the entire human population would fit in the space of a sugar cube.

2) apparently my dad was right about it being mostly empty space between my ears.

Who was gatekeeping butter chicken mac and cheese for the last 52 years? Is my
New Christmas Eve tradition now #noms

Chilly problems require warm solutions #cozy #dog

I wonder what it will take for all my LDS neighbors to get that they were never a part of the Christian Nationalist movement they think they’re a part of?

Wife: Did you think when we got married 20 years ago that you would be watching the end of America with me?

Me: There's no one I'd rather spend a civil war with.

#truelove

A 22 year old Mormon attempting to trigger a civil war with an uWu was not on my slide into fascism bingo card.

Dear Lord,
Grant me the strength to resist the temptation of food videos on TikTok. I just made chili cheese corn dogs.
Thank you,
Me

Me walking around a pond listening to Nozick being all depressed about the state of the world. Then sudden glee. “Oooooo look a dung beetle rolling his little shitball around! Cool!”

Dogs found the spot in the pond where all this season’s frogs were sunning and kept crashing through it on purpose like Dogzilla through Toadkyo.

What in the white people taco night is going on here?!? I brined, marinated, and smoked sheepshead we caught last week. Then made a bacon broccoli slaw. Then grilled the tortillas in the bacon grease.

Kicking off kidding season!

I have a friend that has only referred to their new boss as “The Angry Thumb”. I’ve never seen the new guy but I’m pretty sure I could pick him out of a police line up now.

These pretzels are hitting like; my favorite thing so far scout moving to the south is that Voodoo isn’t just a novelty name for something vaguely Cajun. It’s its own snack flavor categorical profile, like ranch or chipotle that tastes like it Crystal hot sauce were made with malted vinegar.

My evil design of turning a skinny outside highway dog into a plump inside pillow princess puppy is in full effect with the introduction of the “Floofy Blanket. “

Some puppy has gone from the goats are great toys to ‘oh they dispense food out their asses if I let them mow dad’s yard in peace’.

When the ladies are away us animals will play.
2 inch pasture raised heritage pork chop. Rubbed in caramelized garlic salt, Nashville hot chicken dust, pecan dust. Smoked them braised in Nashville hot oil, pineapple juice, butter, and honey.

The dogs got their own chop. It wasn’t so fancy.

Me as very rural Antifa.

Not even 6 months old and already looking like an existential crisis

Wife and I are driving back home from Jacksonville where we bought this Ponderosa Lemon tree. It’s on its side in the bed of the truck sorta hanging over the back. I call this my Florida Truck Nuts.

And I’ll exchange stinkhorns.

it's gonna be so funny if a mix of Brady violations and reasonable doubt about cops planting that gun turn Luigi into OJ Simpson But Everyone's Cool With It

Re-reading The Art of War ~ Sun Tzu with a group of friends. The “hot take” synopsisof chapter two: You are never the only one to sacrifice for your goals and you are never the only one who suffers the consequences of your decisions. Act accordingly.

Still winning the unspoken competition with my wife about who will be the dog’s “person”. The newest Maggie, makes it 7,2, and 1. One of the dogs decided our daughter was her “person”.

I just saw an advert for a Ruger - 1. RSI. I thought it said Ruger - SSRI and thought to myself, that’s natural corporate synergy right there.

Patiently waiting for the Georgia swamp to reclaim the 4 rolls of paper towel the puppy spread all over the back yard.

My feeds right now:

“As a conservative man I stand for two things:

1) The troops
2) The weapons I’m stockpiling to protect me from the troops when they inevitably come to take my weapons.”

Dear Lifted Dodge Ram Cummins Driver,

After your front axle diff took up my entire rear view mirror I realized that I should be profusely ashamed of my malicious adherence to the speed limit.

Sincerely,
Me

That look she gives you when pulling hot bread out of the oven.

Best wife of all time: Okay the buns are done.

Me: My anaconda does want some because you got done buns hun!

S’allright, weekend is already ruined. I hope yours goes well.