Jay Walker - Professional Navel & Star Gazer

I'm not a magician...
but I once turned a back rub, into two kids and a mortgage.

I love gravy.
When I think of ROUX
I touch myself.

So sick & tired of the fake outrage coming from the Dems in Congress. About as useful as thoughts & prayers. No one buys your sad bullshit.

Get this through you head. Trump is going to whatever the FUCK Trump wants to do until YOU stop him.

He knows it & worse, SO DO YOU!

That's hot!

Bout as hot as two rats fucking in a wool sock behind the dryer.

If he could just go to sleep and never wake up again, that would be great

🤞

Trump's BULLSHIT is fucking illegal!

Special Independent Counsel, NOW!

Stop the hand ringing, grow some balls and DO something!

Would someone please explain how Trump is involved in the releasing of the Epstein files?

How is it that he or anyone that he controls is able to make whatever changes they want & tamper with evidence of a crime in which he is involved?

We need an independent council.

Vance couldn't lead a MAGAt to a turd.

When Trump dies this whole thing crashes like a house of cards and your handwringing about it is why your paper is finished.

Bondi "Whiffed" the Epstein files because she stinks.

FUCK THAT GUY!
-which one?
Doesn't fucking matter. All of 'em.

So grandpa what did you do while HITLER tried to conquer the world?

-I enlisted, fought the Battle of the Bulge & your Uncle Ed was killed.

60 YEARS LATER.

Paw Paw. What did you do while TRUMP destroyed America?

-Plenty. First I was worried sick, then I looked at TikTok about it.

Marriage Conundrum #873:

Me:
I really like your fudge but I'm not a big fan of your mom's.

Spouse:
Why? I make the exact same fudge recipe. In fact it's one she got from her mom.

Me:
But yours is SO much better. Not even close, dude.

MIL:
Well fuck you then! See if I ever make you anything.

Dear Farmers who STILL support Trump.
Your parents must be SO PROUD!
Oink, oink here and an oink, oink there.
E-I-E-I- HO!

Trying to convince my puppy not to eat poo. Especially her own.

Remind me again. Something about the Epstein something or other?

YouTube video by CCCartoons Fifth Column Mouse (1943)

The majority of Americans are ANTIFA and always will be.

These fascist mthrfckrs are going to learn that the hard way.

"We did it before and We can do it again!"

Lions don't have to tell you they are lions.
They just are.

"Dad. The large-breasted woman is walking across the screen."

My cue that Star Trek The Next Generation was back from commercial.

I know why people use subtitles when they watch TV & Movies. Simple. Seems like the entire film industry "PROS" have FORGOTTON how to mix. The music is too fucking loud & the voices not loud enough.

Bullshit on everyone's system is different. Fucking mix it in MONO & make movies people want to see.

My grandmother once said, "If you want more friends you have to be friendly."

And see. That's the problem, right there.

I signed a Petition today. I expect action, dammit!

-What was it for?

I don't know.

Looking forward to seeing my Great Uncle today and to see if he'll give me my nose back.

SM: You're gonna say shit strangers like.
Me, 30 yrs ago: Why?
SM: So they'll LIKE you.
Me: So what?
SM: They might even FOLLOW you.
Me: Why would I want strangers to follow me?
SM: Well, they're not strangers if they like you.
Me: I like me. I don't give a fuck.
SM: One day you won't & you will.

WARNING:
Netflix & Chill Leads To
Disney+ & Children.