OneFastMac

I don’t think I really needed Bluesky as much as I just wanted to feel like I was on 2009 twitter again and I just don’t think that is ever going to happen.

When I die I want to be cremated, loaded into a confetti cannon, and blasted into my friends’ faces while Mambo Number Five plays on a Bluetooth speaker.

If Apple released an iPhone that was everything it already is but didn’t have a camera bump, I would drive 1000 miles to buy it.

Why does Kash Patel always look like he’s getting a prostate exam that he didn’t study for?

Like most conservative white women in America, Marjorie Taylor Green is one ridiculous health insurance premium away from being a woke liberal.

Idk how much the average person SHOULD be farting, but damn I be farting a LOT.

I bet Steve Aoki has a crazy K/D ratio.

Suddenly craving a fist full of Tylenol

One of my favorite things to do is when people whisper something to me that they don’t want other people to hear, I respond in my normal speaking voice.

I need something new to scream into.

My body is a machine that turns good food into shid pants

Against my better judgment, I went back and tried to play The Alters again.
It’s good up to the point it isn’t. It’s far too difficult on the easiest setting and the way everything cascades when you start to lose grip is hopeless. I’ve never played a game that wasted my time like this one. -5 Stars

“The Alters” is an incredibly fascinating twist on what is otherwise a very clunky resource management base builder.
13 hours in, game-breaking bug that essentially renders my current save useless. I have to start over completely if I want to keep playing and I am not going to do that.

Seeing a lot of people younger than me acting like my parents when presented with new technology or software. Instead of learning something, they are avoiding it entirely.

I feel like that is worrisome?

I want to know the amount of overlap that exists between people who worship Hideo Kojima and people who voted for Trump.

I’m not saying the Venn diagram would be one big circle, but I think the percentage would surprise a lot of us.

These ads I’m getting for local contractors are buck wild like, are you here to paint my house or are you here to top me raw and spit in my mouth?

I never played the long drive but have played beyond horizon. It’s fun to search for car parts to restore the cars and the ability to make it more or less difficult can be kind of fun! It’s got multiplayer coop but I’ve yet to try it. Idk why there are zombies 🤷🏻‍♂️

Where do I get some of those PayPal robes?

Blegh.

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 is easily one of the most impressive games I’ve ever played in my entire life.

So few games feel this good to play.

These videos of people showing off in cars, crashing them and then getting out of the car to yell and fuss all while wearing -adidas slides- and I’m just like WELL THERE’S THE PROBLEM.

So, like, my takeaway here is that it’s fine if I don’t file my taxes?

No one really talks about it, but Corndogs at Sonic were $0.99 this year instead of $0.50 and, I think, we might be in big trouble.

and the friends we made along the way

I’m beginning to think The White Lotus is just a show about all of Greg’s shenanigans.

The way I will find something weird and immediately share it with everyone I know is, I think, my greatest strength and also everyone else’s greatest problem.

Farley is such an imbecile.

I existed all day long; I deserve a little doomscrolling as a treat.

The thing about buttplugs is