Cait Monster

Every time I see Joe Morton, my whole body clenches in fear. Eli Pope was terrifying.

Thinking about bringing back the cedar burn dolls. Customizable. Full of rage.

Tried a new virtual gym and left feeling defeated. How are you “inclusive” but shit on people who didn’t come to class? I missed the first class because I wanted to do a different work out.

So did you shit talk me for doing something different?

Lack of attendance is not lack of commitment

I learned of a drive thru for cheesecake today. Finally a reason to see Virginia

I think if you make a $48 and it doesn’t dry down (forget long lasting, just looking for “set”), you should be embarrassed.

Why is Maybelline doing better work for $13???

I didn’t realize how many parts of my heart needed healing until people showed up and made me feel loved this week.

Gentle reminder the first day of Christmas is Christmas Day. Not December 13. It’s a countdown to the Epiphany.

From like 2005 to 2015 it was so hard to eat out as someone who doesn’t eat pork. We were a nation obsessed with bacon.

It doesn’t upset me. I’m okay being from the olden days just very funny to see the concept of time passing be represented so differently.

I’m proud owner of parents who think 1970 was 30 years ago and “basically yesterday”

Did the children of the 1920s throw people born in the 1880s for a loop when they called it “the olden days” or is this something unique to our widely hyper connected time?

I need people to stop telling me to shop at Uniqlo.

They hate fat people.

They don’t even come close to carrying my size and I’m a small fat.

They say plus size friendly and it’s a lie.

Asbury and Asbury Park are two different locations. 65 miles apart. Stop using them interchangeably

At some point I’m coming up on the 20th anniversary of the stupidest decision of my teen years, becoming at #CalgaryFlames fan.

I started the switch to physical media in 2023 and I guess I just haven’t listened to enough applemusic for it to count

Sometimes I feel left out of the wrap posts but then I remember it’s not very punk rock to pay for services that give contracts to JRogan and ad space toICE.

I also like to believe it’s not behavior approved by Britney or Kesha

I recognize I spelled taping wrong beyond the gs but I’m not fixing it

How did I lose so many clips? I just wanna finish bias tappinggggggggg

Some nights it’s just seam ripping and making disappointed noises while you catch up on @dirtylaundryshow.bsky.social

I need an accountability club. Too much of what I want to do “on demand” and my executive dysfunction doesn’t work without knowing I would be disappointing people.

The way I can recognize the party noise at the start of Bleed It Out — what critical memory did I overwrite to retain this knowledge for almost 19 years?

Explaining the Thanksgiving Power Hour makes me feel insane

Why can’t the writers of procedurals just stick to the procedure??

Do they not realize how aggressively neurodivergent their viewers are?

CHANGING IT UP IS NOT WHAT WE WANT

Love the boomer skill of turning a small interaction into a key memory in my “that time I fucked up” montage.

I’m doing the best I can as an unexpected volunteer, maam. THIS IS A FUNDRAISER

At least my favorite never did this. And she was ACTUALLY BEING CONTROLLED LIKE BABY

So is the defense to this commercial going to be “I’m just a baby” or is this the final easter egg?

The baby argument is getting harder and harder to believe, even more so now with the very awkward “I have sex” pivot.

So which is it???

What if we brought back 2007 internet? Like all go back to making our own blogs and Tumblrs, posting our lunches, being weird — I miss the mundane of the internet.

Why does the dog have better elevator manners than you, neighbor?

I’ve lost all sense of time sleeping this much. #StomachVirus2025

Fluttering. Amazing

Trying to recreate 2011 but I see the #Flames aren’t on here yet.