Jakkal, Who Death Forgot

Terrified he died but delighted that it’s just him talking about cocaine

ten years ago to the day my entire life was Extremely bad
today my life fucking rules

eat rocks, universe. i win this one

everything I've ever seen them say just feels like the same 3 tumblr posts chewed up and reconstituted with stolen recent Fandom(tm) tweets optimized for engagement. the same vibe as the kids who called everything "doomed toxic yaoi" last year regardless of context

Frank: (wearing a sleeveless crop top that says "support Rigsby on kickstarter") Look at this slutty shirt they're making me wear Anna: Yikes

Frank: So demeaning Anna: (bending over) Wait a minute

Anna: What are all these fabric scraps Frank: (holding scissors) just shameless

Support Rigsby WI on Kickstarter https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ironspike/rigsby-wi-volume-2-burn-it-down-by-se-case?ref=d40qwl

frank hates that you're making him do this

www.kickstarter.com/projects/iro...

the way people treat foxes like they're just dogs... 2 is one of the things that's going to turn me into the joker,

yeah yeah I know that people can understand fiction but humans are really really habitual about assuming every animal is a dog

not to buzzkill but maybe we should not treat every animal like dogs in our fiction bc literally one of the first pieces of safety advice you get on moving to for example, Hokkaido, is "holy shit do not touch foxes, i don't care how cute they are, because that's how you get a fatal parasite"

my job rules a comical amount and I'm pretty sure I could fight god one handed and win with the level of power and good vibes I'm wielding today

"idk the pokepi line is cute and all but idk if that's worth 6k when the one below it is a third cheaper" he said and then he realized it was holding a second, smaller piplup, whereupon he blacked out and woke up with it in line to check out

MAN'S DEAD

man is fucking dead though let's be absolutely clear iori killed a guy in these dramas

finished my TL of the CHANCE dramas. ate pizza. going to sapporo tomorrow to fistfight some girlies for some copies of CHANCE. finally have my couch. probably annoyed my downstairs neighbor/coworker by moving a couch around at 9 AM while he's hungover. living my best life etc etc etc

today i went to my 歓迎会 that my workplace put on and at this lovely tatami room in this lovely restaurant they blasted USA by Da Pump and two of the younger staff members put on sunglasses and did the entire choreo. i love my job

me: I probably won't buy anything at the secondhand store, they only have like half a panel of joseimuke stuff

the nefarious ebifry koupenchan right in my line of sight as im about to walk out:

i put him in my genkan to greet me when i get home (of course he comes back inside with me). my mental health is already doing great and i'm about to become a fucking superhero

THIS IS THE GREATEST PURCHASE DECISION IVE EVER MADE IN MY LIFE

GIRL WE ARE LOSING THE PLOT

straight up got told "I heard from [x] that you like penguins" today. i am going to be the penguin guy forever. i am okay with this

i ordered it btw

English speaking coworkers already starting to associate me with penguins. I may have already sealed my fate

I am unlocking new proprietary kinds of tired

I'm so glad that in like 36 hours I'm going to the much more reasonable "89, feels like 95" of the town I'm moving to AND NONE OF MY FRIENDS HAD BETTER ASK ME TO EVER COME TO TOKYO IN AUGUST EVER AGAIN

see you all in hell (*tokyo in August)

I had to check (nightcrawler) and. well no comment

in less than 72 hours I'm setting off on basically the biggest life change you can make on purpose and I feel a little bit crazy

the actual product name is smth like "special big koupenchan to watch over you" so really it's just basic wellbeing and safety

i am buying the 8800 yen giant koupenchan the absolute moment that i have my home address in hokkaido, btw. this is the kind of object that saves lives

absolutely catastrophic the amount of impact this object has had on my motivation levels. any time i doubt myself i look at koupenchan and know that koupenchan would never doubt in me for a moment and i feel the strength surging in my body