chae

i am such a paranoid person, because i don't trust myself to trust other people correctly

i'm just being gaslit about the world and myself, i'm malleable

i feel so subhuman

feeling a little more active in my passive suicidal ideation

found out someone who i look to for a lot of trans info legit lives 30 minutes away from me, that's crazy

i love being deemed an expert on RFID tag encoding, when I have had no training or experience. so then when i have issues encoding it becomes an entire mental breakdown

happy wednesday!!!! :)

Liberal politicians if you are so disturbed just pretend Charlie Kirk was a Palestinian child and you’ll get over it in no time

just won 1 50/50, and 2 75/25s tonight
🙏 28.1% chance, and i did it

i am so addiction prone. going to be quitting casual drinking/smoking again. i can't really have anything because i just abuse it to the umpteenth degree. i have been high all day and unable to get anything done except play video games!

i'm not insane in thinking that 155 pg/ml of E2 is really low, no?

i'm at a tough injunction of wanting to argue more over stuff that means something to me, but stop arguing about everything too much. i think i just need to close my mouth. i want to be desired.

a specific and hurtful thing should happen to at least one person, if not many of them

i expect perfection

i'm feeling a lot of guilt and regret for ruining a relationship i think i had with someone in high school. it was probably the last time i felt truly celebrated by people for me, and she had setup an entire surprise bday party when we were 16/17. she is definitely the closest mem to my heart.

i love what hasan exists as in theory, and he is hot as hell, but this GQ shoot feels weird with wearing a palestinian shirt for an interview. it just feels performative to a degree.

the worst person you know rebranded as a clean girl "just tryna figure things out"

YOURE KINDA CUTE THOOOOOO
LIKE CALAMITY JANE

still pretending to be a "human", nobody has noticed yet

i felt genuine feelings for someone quite recently, but i couldn't get over my own fatphobia towards myself to pursue anything

parked next to someone who i would imagine has an amazingly GREAT taste on race relations

i just killed a moth that was stuck inside and i didn't mean to. i just turned on the fan and didn't see it until it was too late :(

stuck between "everyone can change", "i don't want to be the one to change them", and "i think people who support X are stupid as fuck and actively harmful and it makes me not want to interact with you in any capacity, even small talk/tolerance of your presence"

like just work a little bit farther than what you're originally thinking. think about liberation for everyone man. fuck israel.

and then i have to just act normal? maybe i'm just drunk? but destiny/ethan has done irreperable damage on humanity.

i have such an inability to compartmentalize arguments with someone as not being a reflection of their character.
how am i supposed to understand how i am pro-houthi because they are working against israel and you say "every death is equal". EXACTLY! how many houthis/palestinians have been killed??

i genuinely have some large self-destructive portion in my head. i can't stop it. what am i doing.

why am i actively trying to hurt my wellbeing y'all

very much so interested in removing myself from the internet semi-permanently. only existing in my own personal website as a maximum.

i need to dedicate my life to someone again