Jonathan 1000

Me doing these monthly cyber security training videos for work

Oh my god, you’re a Capricorn? That makes so much sense. You’re always working.

You’re thinking of capitalism. Is your star sign Unemployed?

Why thank you, kind sir. The color’s pullin a lotta weight. Way overdue for a mop chop

New hair who dis

Thank god it's the weekend. Time to relax by doing nothing and stressing about all the things I should be doing.

You’re just between jobs. Freelance fabulous diva in the meantime

"You sound gay"
"You sound unemployed."

I don’t remember what my first game was. I was only like 3 or 4 when my dad bought a PS1. RE1 was one of the first games he bought too. I remember staying up one night to watch him play it with all the lights off and being absolutely terrified

Why do I love PlayStation so much? I dunno. I imprinted on the PS1 startup sound like a baby duck.

I refuse to delete old saves. Those are my children. I raised them. We grew together.

Resisting the Millenial urge to put 😂 at the end of every text.

I beat that one on my first try and got the trophy for first place. I was very proud of myself. The motorcycle chase however, took me like 10 tries 😂 Hated the driving in that game

The game was great. You should play it if you haven’t

a cartoon of spongebob with the words emotional damage below him ALT: a cartoon of spongebob with the words emotional damage below him

Decided to knock out some “just for funsies” games in my backlog. Just finished my first time playthrough of the first Mafia game. No funsies were found 😭

Apparently it’s too flat yet also too sharp to be whatever note he kept playing on the piano

Living with a musician: he hates the ceiling fan cuz it makes a quiet ass hum. The most annoying part? “It’s not even in tune.”

It tickles the happy spot in my lizard brain

I found them on Etsy

www.etsy.com/shop/Brookly...

They’re just so perfect and beautiful 🥹

Did I neeeed coasters of every PS1 entry of Final Fantasy? Yes I absofuckinglutely did, Debbie, so mind your business.

I was accused of looking 38 in a court of law. We sued the landlord and the landlord decided to hit me where it hurt. BRB Telling my lawyer to seek compensation for emotional damages.

“Hey! Love the hair!”
15 minutes later my guilt riddled ass is making a donation. I used a plastic straw today and now I’m on the hook for $35.
“Thanks so much for your support! Can we take a selfie?”

Getting rejection emails from jobs I applied to 2 years ago as if I was unsure about where we stood. Thank you so much for clearing that up.

I keep my phone naked so people know I’m a thrill seeking rebel

Updating treatment plans like

In grad school I went out with some classmates. We bonded over 90’s alt/punk rock and charcuterie. Everyone was some flavor of queer. Named the group chat “Semi-Charcoochie Life”. That was the only time that group actually hung out. Waste of a group chat name.

OUR QUEER LOVE IS POWERFUL AND UNBREAKABLE. GAY LOVE AND TRANS LOVE DESERVE SAFETY, JOY AND RESPECT EVERY SINGLE DAY. WE WILL NOT LET BIGOTS DIM OUR LIGHT. SHOUT IT LOUD: LOVE IS LOVE AND TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS! 🌈🏳️‍⚧️✊

I miss having a big closet. Everything just got hung up. Life was simple then.

Getting kirked 😂