Jonathan 1000

Long ago in the before times, when the wind didn’t give me brain freeze.

someone should faithfully recreate Doom in Skyrim and call it Doom Scrolling

As 2025 comes to an end, it is time to evaluate my progress on my New Year’s resolution. Due to 7 months of crippling unemployment and frozen pizza, 2025 was not the year I became the gay thirst trap I wanted to see in the world.

She had a legitimate issue with another program director’s behavior. But reading her emails, it was 100% obvious she typed the issue into ChatGPT and asked it to write an email to HR. Then pasted every response she got from HR into ChatGPT and told it to write a response.

A few months ago a coworker attempted to wage war against HR with copy-paste ChatGPT emails. She did not win that war. And she seemed surprised by that. I still think about it.

They’re ready to “declare independence” from NYC cuz they don’t like Mamdani the big scary socialist. But they like it when everyone else’s taxes pay for their ferry service.

Big “I’m never shopping here again” energy.

Me doing these monthly cyber security training videos for work

Oh my god, you’re a Capricorn? That makes so much sense. You’re always working.

You’re thinking of capitalism. Is your star sign Unemployed?

Why thank you, kind sir. The color’s pullin a lotta weight. Way overdue for a mop chop

New hair who dis

Thank god it's the weekend. Time to relax by doing nothing and stressing about all the things I should be doing.

You’re just between jobs. Freelance fabulous diva in the meantime

"You sound gay"
"You sound unemployed."

I don’t remember what my first game was. I was only like 3 or 4 when my dad bought a PS1. RE1 was one of the first games he bought too. I remember staying up one night to watch him play it with all the lights off and being absolutely terrified

Why do I love PlayStation so much? I dunno. I imprinted on the PS1 startup sound like a baby duck.

I refuse to delete old saves. Those are my children. I raised them. We grew together.

Resisting the Millenial urge to put 😂 at the end of every text.

I beat that one on my first try and got the trophy for first place. I was very proud of myself. The motorcycle chase however, took me like 10 tries 😂 Hated the driving in that game

The game was great. You should play it if you haven’t

a cartoon of spongebob with the words emotional damage below him ALT: a cartoon of spongebob with the words emotional damage below him

Decided to knock out some “just for funsies” games in my backlog. Just finished my first time playthrough of the first Mafia game. No funsies were found 😭

Apparently it’s too flat yet also too sharp to be whatever note he kept playing on the piano

Living with a musician: he hates the ceiling fan cuz it makes a quiet ass hum. The most annoying part? “It’s not even in tune.”

It tickles the happy spot in my lizard brain

I found them on Etsy

www.etsy.com/shop/Brookly...

They’re just so perfect and beautiful 🥹

Did I neeeed coasters of every PS1 entry of Final Fantasy? Yes I absofuckinglutely did, Debbie, so mind your business.

I was accused of looking 38 in a court of law. We sued the landlord and the landlord decided to hit me where it hurt. BRB Telling my lawyer to seek compensation for emotional damages.

“Hey! Love the hair!”
15 minutes later my guilt riddled ass is making a donation. I used a plastic straw today and now I’m on the hook for $35.
“Thanks so much for your support! Can we take a selfie?”