HEELS

Son: Dad, why did you break a drumstick?
Me: I was Practicing.
Son: You need to be a better drummer.
Me: You said it, Pal.

My Son just complained that a music video didn’t have enough shots of the drummer. That’s my Boy.

See you Friday at the Hi Tone

RIP Hulk Hogan.
I hope they make you join a union in the afterlife.

The new vinyl is up for presale now!! Limited edition signed copies! heels.bigcartel.com

We are now the three that were meant to be. We are here to melt your fears and move your rears.

See you on The Merrycrest Sessions on YouTube this Tuesday 8pm. Central.

Justice Department cuts to public safety grants leave police and nonprofits scrambling Hundreds of public safety grants cut, worth $500 million, funded initiatives like drug treatment and gun violence prevention programs.

Hundreds of public safety grants cut, worth $500 million, funded initiatives like drug treatment and gun violence prevention programs.

I love Cons. Bought this 10 ft from the maga Superman actor and Ted “Rip off my own church for millions” Dibiase. Billy West is at this con and as I passed him I yelled “Billy West you’re a King”. His response was “And don’t you forget it Kid.”

Happy 311 Day
if you are Down.
May your energy be Homebrew’d, colored Amber and Flowing.

Would you say the Letterkenny crew are in that as well?

Coolbeans,
coolbeans,
coolbeans,
Coolbeeans
*to the tune of Jolene.

Whenever you welcome guests, treat them with kindness, grace and respect. Simple as that.

Heels-a-Thon today, doors at 4pm
Josh short standup set
Then Brennan acoustic set
Then Josh cooking demo and tasting
THEN Full new HEELS album live.
We have every piece of merch.
You have to do everything you can to continue your art so here we are. See you at the HiTone

This is why the Tesla boycott/divestment strategy can work where others have failed. If we can move Tesla stock, we can wipe out a huge amount (if not all) of Elon Musk's wealth.

This opportunity is too important not to pursue all-out. #TeslaTakedown

For years I thought the Barenaked ladies song started “Broke into your apartment” and was blown away that it was so big being so creepy. I learned today it’s “Broke into the old apartment” and it instantly made the song boring as hell.

If you’re Over 35, sex BEFORE dinner is the way to go.

Think Tank Called ‘The Himmler Institute’ Assures Nation This All Legal WASHINGTON—In an effort to assuage any fears over the constitutionality of the Trump administration’s flurry of executive actions, a D.C.-area think tank called The Himmler Institute reportedly assure...

Think Tank Called ‘The Himmler Institute’ Assures Nation This All Legal

(Fred Schneider voice) dirty deeds and they're done dirt CHEAP

Dear Plain
Black Hoodie.
Your unwavering effectiveness is
sincerely appreciated.

John Fetterman’s a disgrace to the oaf community. He does not represent America’s lumbering buffoons, ham-fisted galoots, or men whose heavy footsteps are soundtracked by a tuba.

Few things make me happy like spending way too much at the farmers market on food from people that barely speak English.

HIGHLANDER is a masterpiece. Clancy is the best bad guy ever and the “ultimate prize” is being able to understand ANYONE and help them understand each other. There has never been a more pure and awesome final reward in a movie ever. Also there’s wrestling, hookers and QUEEN.

Hug your pets
Hug your fam
Keep your chin up
And f*ck the man.

There is no limit to the number of fishsticks I can eat.