Britt, educated big mouth

“I didn’t say that, but yeah!”

I am going to have a stroke.

“If you die [in the parking lot], can we steal your stuff from your car?”

Students in night class.

I bet bc your order was split, once the first arrived, it showed the whole shipment as delivered, so the second one is in limbo somewhere.

(It’s also why they’ll say it hasn’t been enough days yet bc there’s now no second tracking number.)

Since we’re all adults around here:

(I put my lunch in the microwave and started singing “I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight.)

a cartoon of charlie brown leaning against a tree says i am sick of myself Alt: a cartoon of charlie brown leaning against a tree says i am sick of myself

Last night I convinced myself that my cat’s eye was drooping.

An hour + multiple internet searches, a photo-shoot and hyper-zoomed comparison investigation later, turns out — just my anxiety yay!

Sometimes I wish I could turn off my ears because why are there so many sounds

A snapshot of the kind of man my mother’s husband is:

Called her and they’re driving. As soon as she answers, he begins intentionally turning the radio up until it’s deafening and my mother cannot hear.

My granddaddy would take me to Dairy Queen and we would split a Butterfingers Blizzard and when we drove back, he’d let me sit on his lap.

I was the only granddaughter for a while, but I was the only one he ever took.

That and feeding the cows and the pigs. 🖤🖤🖤

At least once a week, I tell my (college) students, “I had Juvenile knees and so I cannot have Megan ones.”

Also, I get so annoyed at how bummed and upset I get.

I don’t have kids! I don’t even like holidays!

But it makes me so sad that I don’t get to participate. Which is sad in and of itself.

Such a silly thing, but one of the things I was looking forward to about the super-burbs was the trick-or-treaters.

I was excited about being a part of someone’s tradition, but I didn’t choose my super-burbs correctly I guess.

That’s what I thought.

I think the last group just came through (the dad mentioned they were trying to hit up the last few houses), which brings our total to 15. 😔😔

That’s about five more than last year!

I thought I heard children so I ran outside.

It was my neighbors coming home from trick-or-treating in the front of the neighborhood. 🫠🫠🫠

As a person in the boring houses with little-to-no street lights, thank your kid bc they’re the only ones who come through! 😭😭

I feel like an evil witch in a fairytale wishing for children to come to my house for candy. 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

Though, a Spurs family came through so that was lovely!

PEOPLE WITH TRICK-OR-TREATERS:

When do you all start getting started? When do I need to be ready and at attention?

Someone help bc why are A*Teens blaring in my head right now.

Working with you is EXHAUSTING and I honestly HATE IT a lot of the time.

As a person, wonderful, amazing, sweet, kind, generous.

As a colleague, AWFUL and INFURIATING.

If someone is not standing directly behind you, following up, pushing, pushing, pushing, absolutely nothing would ever happen.

You think leadership is a prize and a self-esteem boost instead REALLY HARD WORK.

If you’re the leader of the team, you damn sure won’t communicate anything, drag your feet, whine about how everything is SO HARD and somehow manage to come out with a spotlight and an imaginary list of accomplishments that no one else can share because NONE OF IT HAPPENED.

That means EVERYONE ELSE — primarily ME — is constantly scrambling around and doing all the actual work.

And when you do show up, it’s only in the crunch times where you act like a hero or martyr by helping solve YOUR OWN MESS.

If there is no one to directly impress, you simply do not exist.

A work rant (since I can’t say it in the real world because I like being employed):

You are a TERRIBLE worker and an EVEN WORSE leader.

The reason shit NEVER GETS DONE is because of YOU.

If you’re on a team, you will volunteer for everything and only complete what is fun/fits into your hobbies.

A picture of a laptop background an up-close owl staring directly at the camera/at whoever is looking at the picture.

My computer is randomized, revolving pictures, and this is today’s.

This…is not gonna work.

A thing I understand but do not like:

Full payment being required before reinstating a student removed for payment issues.

Like I get it but it feels so unfair.

Unfortunate for all of us:

The aircon is back on.

Today my brother brosplained ingrown toenails and how to make a doctor’s appointment.

I am 38 (and no, I do not have ingrown toenails).

Being a little sister to an older brother means you have to listen to him brosplain aspects of everyday life you can’t possibly know about because he didn’t directly tell or teach it to you.

Big news: the aircon has been turned off for the year.

Just watched a gather lose his will to live in real time.

Him: Go to line six, no, seven.

*Tween boys start chanting 6-7, 6-7*

Okay so my grocery pick-up is technically 13:00 but usually it’s done a bit earlier.

It’s a [drive] away, AND I have to run inside to pick up something I forgot,
AND I can grab a tea if it’s not done yet.

So do I just say screw it and head that way now or do I wait for the notification?

translation.

(Also, I’m not on IG which is where I know the hub of NOS social is, and possibly where you’re the most active! I just chose the social avenue that felt safest.)