Ben Davis

Doing the Lord’s work!

They’ve yelled ‘six seven’ dozens of times. Think I might nip up the offy and drink from a whisky bottle that’s still in a brown paper bag.

Sitting in the park while my son and his friend play football. Only ‘sigma gyatt rizzler Ohio’ goals are allowed apparently.

So stoked for this!!
Brilliantly written by @bendavisauthor.bsky.social
Published by @simonandschuster.bsky.social
🌈🚀✉️

Welcome to the Ssssssnake Hotel WRITING LOVE POEMS...... TO ALIENS. (To begin with, children think they are simply writing love poems and there is always ...

It's #WorldSpaceWeek so how about writing a love poem from one alien to another? Lots of examples here: brian-moses.blogspot.com/2017/03/writ...

Hi Brian! This one might fit the bill. It’s called Don’t Come to Saturn.

What’s that? A book trailer? And cover reveal? Featuring illustrations by the brilliant @nerderella.bsky.social? Go on, then.

Here’s a valuable tip for all the authors out there x

The Davis Express has pulled into Swanwick Hall School for a day of booknessnessnessnessness. How early am I? Earlier than the Earl of Earlingshire.

Just received an email:

Read your book. 1/10

Nice of them to let me know, but why put the date on it?

And when my wife went out the front to ask my son what he wanted for lunch, she stepped outside, yelled ‘FOR GOD’S SAKE,’ then went back in. I think she’s troubled.

We also had a fence panel blow out in the storm, so she went out and propped a load of manky polystyrene and an old window against it for some reason.

Keir Starmer needs to do something about this imo

She doesn’t answer the door and I haven’t managed to run into her yet, but she’ll receive a full and frank appraisal of the situation when I do.

The next morning, my wife went to go around and saw the empty box by the recycling.

SHE STOLE OUR DINNER AND LEFT THE EVIDENCE FOR ALL TO SEE!

Here’s something wild that happened last week:

We ordered one of those Green Chef boxes but it never arrived. After checking the tracking, we saw it had been left in front of next door’s gate. It was quite late at this point, so when I went round and it wasn’t there, I didn’t knock the door.

RIP Tony Harrison. One of the greats. This is my fav.

The Davis Express (and associated knitwear) has pulled into the Nottingham Academy for the first burst of booknessnessnessness of the academic year. I am, as ever, stupidly early 👍

I’ll 6 7 you in a minute

Been cutting about in a jumper with my own name on it today. Disgusting behaviour.

Say what you like about the cast of the Borrowers. You’ve got to give them massive props.

Just been reminded of the time the entire family dressed up as Freddie Mercury

Treated myself to a Venice football shirt which might not be entirely legit. It’s a bit *snug*

I’ll if you’re so bothered about free speech I’m sure you’ll have lots of say about government censorship of TV shows you in a minute.

I’ll state visit you in a minute

Naughty Poems for Nice Kids

I’ve recorded an album (I know) featuring some of my favourite kids’ poems. It’s called Naughty Poems for Nice Kids and it’s on Spotify and whatnot.

Start with President Gobshite and work your way down, I reckon.

Heard an American bloke saying ‘we don’t kill people for speech in this country.’

I mean, you do though, don’t you? You’re sort of notorious for it. You’ve got boulevards and federal holidays named after people you killed for speech. Proper people. Not just gobshites.

I’ve recorded a *kids’ poetry album* which I’m gonna stick on streaming and whatnot.

Did Neil Buchanan write this?