MossWitch

Me: Copies text from one powerpoint text box to another
Powerpoint: I DO WHAT I WANT! RAMPAAAAAAAGE!

Powerpoint is making me crash out before it's even 8am on a friday

Bisexual poly chaos goblin behavior

I feel like no one can hate a boyfriend the way a confused bi girly who can use both sides of their brain to decide he's not good enough for her. hahahah.

He was probably only in like 5% danger of being actually laid, because I too was a terrified little evangelical at the time, but I guess me and Jesus had different opinions about the severity of a handy.

🤣

lol, I do not have the energy to be mildly perceived on the internet today, and no fucks to give about how fast I will block/hide any homophobic shit. Be on your way.

Explaining a Bluetooth™ pairing/connectivity edge case to a tester, and I really want to make a miscommunication trope joke about it.

“It’s no cure for depression but he’s going to keep trying”

I would like to present some bisexual menace evidence to the court.
In evangelical high school, I had a crush on my bff, that I fully didn’t understand at the time. She had a boyfriend that I ~*HATED*~.
I ended up dating her brother. Who dumped me because we got somewhat adjacent to premarital sex.

*taps mic*
“When your 8 year long SSRI dose comes out to you as gay”
“Well that really puts a whole new spin on using sex to self-medicate”
“Shane “emotional support bottom” Hollander”
“Going on a metal health fuck”
“How does Ilya like his serotonin? Raw”

Gilbert’s gonna get another slate cracked over his head

I mean define older? Older than the ejaculator or like older in general (like 65+).

If it’s the former, I have a Hollanov joke in the chute.

Honestly, my bad for not being worse at this in the past.

Not sure if I have the most aesthetic sense and ability to put together decent decks, or the least ability to sandbag this task so I never get asked to do it again.

I was the healing lead for our progression raid guild and then I started leading software teams.

Email: “Diablo’s 30th anniversary”
Me: No, I don’t like how numbers work anymore.

Me: Always doing 3 things at once
Also me: Gets 4 hours of sleep
Also, also me: Why am I so tired?

Proof I didn’t make this up, I just mildly misquoted the middle in my elation.

www.tiktok.com/t/ZThmPjmkJ/

Yeah sure - shoot me a DM with your commission rates / info.

I really want to find a good slack emoji of the bad bunny sugar cane plant people. I beg. I will commission it if necessary.

They trademarked this?! THEY TRADEMARKED THIS!

I feel like the only HR edits I'm not all in for are the taylor swift ones.

Why is this like peak high millennial cold calling me on slack? I THOUGHT WE LEFT THAT IN GEN X

I don’t exist. 😭

You're laughing? The team that lends their plane for deportation flights and whose owner is best pals with Trump got utterly humiliated in front of a hundred million viewers, and you're laughing?

Delicious seeing the 49ers house all lit up in blue and green.

As a leader at my company, how smug can I be at the ICs who were rooting for the Pats? Asking for a friend.

Gonna slap all the Super Bowl XLIX clips right out of their hands now.