tinfoil witch burning under a bridge

i’m going to use AI to make an app that removes AI from every single fucking app

Finding out that top execs from both LifeTouch and Chuck E. Cheese are in the Epstein files has pissed me off in a way that I didn’t think was still possible.

🚨BREAKING: Puerto Rico has been part of the United States since 1898, and people still act confused that Puerto Ricans are American.

States that joined after Puerto Rico:
• Oklahoma — 1907
• New Mexico — 1912
• Arizona — 1912
• Alaska — 1959
• Hawaii — 1959

Yet somehow this is still news to folks.

I was thinking how when Scott Adams was about to go and rightwingers were saying “you have no idea what impact it’s going to have when Scott Adams dies, he was loved by millions” and then he just died and nothing happened. These ghouls just disappear when they stop talking

“Yes I was on Epstein’s island but I had the flu and therefore saw nothing” now objectively the most hilarious dodge of any of the people in the files

One of the most miserable things about living in this era is having to watch the stupidest & most arrogant people in the world have to relearn The Why of literally everything good that we collectively do the hard way.

The answer is always ‘Because a bunch of people died, fuckwit.’

i've never seen a photo of MrBeast that doesn't look like something a lizard person conspiracy theorist would spend 100 hours zooming into the eyes of for evidence of shape-shifting

jfc you do NOT look like that monster!

every single person writing credulously about "elon will put people on the moon" should have to pin this post to their monitor

this is who runs this account

New York Times headline: Libertarians: We Told You So With an image of a big black boot stomping a snake

this is a subject that's near and dear to my heart

1. no you didn't, you retconning fucks

2. your decades of anti-governance "free market" "government never functions" propaganda paved the way for the complete authoritarian decimation of labor, consumer, environmental protections

David Muir, Tony Dokoupil, and Tom Llamas in image about dokoupil's bad ratings

So weird that these aren't all the same guy.

"But eating!"

"Fresh panties all around"

"Liquid metal"

"Cedar lattice... works every time"

or just "Mitchell!"

(yes, all my lines come from Mitchell)

Honestly, it has to be a weird time to be a figure in pop culture due the president being Literally The Worst. Like, Elmo can say sharing is good and somebody in his X mentions will say “Elmo, you rotten son of a bitch. This goes against everything President Trump stands for.” And that’s not wrong.

Tuning into the non-woke alternative Puppy Bowl (it’s 3 lizards in a toilet)

Every Super Bowl ad was just “HEY REMEMBER THIS SHIT? HUH? YOU REMEMBER THE POP CULTURE YOU CONSUMED THAT ONE TIME IN YOUR LIFE WHEN NOT ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING FUCKING SUCKED. REMEMBER THAT?? brought to you by a company causing your electric bill to increase 287%”

“Mr. Beast Salesforce ad” - they’re calling it the least appealing phrase ever assembled in any language. They finally did it

Turning Point USA Halftime Show Opens With Snake-Handling Preacher

Turning Point USA Halftime Show Opens With Snake-Handling Preacher

lol

The Atlantic wrote a piece saying the Epstein Files are not a big conspiracy but then there's a photo of the owner with Maxwell

Hahaha OK that's pretty good.

The New Fabio Is Claude

fuck this lady, fuck the nyt reporter, fuck all of this. fuck amazon for introducing the KU page read model that makes this possible, fuck our tech overlords.

www.nytimes.com/2026/02/08/b...

Gene Simmons @genesimmons · 5 Feb My personal philosophy re Bitcoin is to hold (HODL). I firmly believe in the future. You need to do your own research and make your own decisions. MidnightRider @pilky0001 Man you’re 80 years old fuck you hodling anything for? I wouldn’t buy green bananas if I were you

😐

The point of the AI project is to provoke despair in creative people. They haven’t produced profits or anything anyone wants, just a steady stream of articles about how us artistic types can’t do the thing we’re already doing, making art. Jokes on them, we’re even better at despair than they are.

answer to the last one is a clear no. you can never leave the cat convenant

A post on threads from user stephens_bens. It reads 'I'll always remember an interview with Steve Buscemi on Bulleye, Jesse Thorn asked him "As an actor with many decades of varied and outstanding roles across your career, does it ever bother you that one of the things you will most be remembered for is a 3-second gif in which you're wearing a backwards baseball cap and carrying a skateboard?" And without missing a beat, Buscemi replied "I'm carrying *two* skateboards." And you know what? He is.' Below that is a screen cap of Buscemi's famous "fellow kids" moment.

I never noticed this either.

Mr. Mastodon Farm, Dime, Friend Is A Four Letter Word, Satan IsMy Motor, Sheep Go To Heaven, Hem of Your Garment, Shadow Stabbing, Love You Madly, and of course the iconic covers of I Will Survive and Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps. one of my favorite bands of all time! RIP Greg Brown 💔💔💔

The disappearing art gallery in your post office The U.S. Postal Service is home to thousands of historic works of art in post offices nationwide. Hundreds have been lost, sold or destroyed.

👀 What if I told you there was a hidden art gallery scattered across the country?

What if I told you some of its treasures had vanished?

What if I told you that I found them?

A project three years in the making (🎁 gift link):

The current regime took a week to abolish USAID, which is three times as old and was not in the news every day for brutalizing children

This just happened with the pronoun labeler being deleted