Bog Witch Bae

Today the Universe decided in my favor about something and it was honestly just such a nice change.

2 cats in a chair, 1 is grey and fluffy, the other has stripes.

A striped cat that looks like a hobbit

Side profile of a striped cat

A striped cat that looks like a hobbit from the shire

Y’all remember that cat living in my bushes? She moved into my house like 3 days ago lmao I mean she made this choice, snuck in, and now just…lives here.

Her name is Shire 😌

They say money can’t buy happiness, but I spent $12 on a mini donut maker 2 weeks ago and my life is significantly better 🤷🏻‍♀️

Listen. I bought a gummy called a one hitter? And it def one hit me lmao

Like you really expect me to just set up my coffee pot and pack school lunch like everything isn’t actually fcked in this hostile take over of the US??? Every breath feels like a panic attack.

At what point does another country step in and save us? Because I’m ready 😩

Also,I have decided I’m just going to go pay $18 again and get my picture retaken for my license. There’s no way in hell I’m gonna hand that picture to people and be like..yeah that’s totally me. I actually look like that. NO! Life is too short for bad driver’s license photos.

I cleaned my room today and it’s fucking amazing. Like it feels nearly spiritual when I walk in the room.

Well damn.

It went so well, I had to depression eat a Rally’s burger in an Aldi parking lot. 🫡

I have to get my license renewed for the first time in person in 8-10 years tomorrow and do you know? I have not 1, but 2 fucking pimples on my nose lmao

Look at my dogs in their new winter coats 😌

when #GloRilla say “stomp a lil pussy ho with some shell toes”…is Glo wearin the shell toes stompin the pussy ho? Or is the pussy ho wearing the shell toes?

The holidays are finally over, just in time for the existential dread of my impending 45th birthday to set in 🥳

My review for #TheSubstance I gagged so hard, so many times, it loosened my dentures and I had to take them out, because then I was gagging on my loose teeth while gagging at the movie. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Today I had to be The Adult In The Situation™️ and I did pretty well, I think, but now I am jelly.

Is that sound:
1) the wind howling
2) cats growling

I have literally never listened to a Drake song on purpose on Spotify ever! But you best believe I cue up “Not Like Us” every time I get in the car. Those numbers aren’t inflated, you just lost, Aubrey 😩

For the first time in my entire life, a woman shorter than me asked me to reach something on a high shelf for her. I could barely reach it myself, but I managed. 😅

The hardest part about raising teens is all their friends shitty parents.

Spent the last 2 days deep cleaning my livingroom and holyfck it feels amazing to just sit here in all this clean 😌

Now and then I start to panic a little bit. Hot tears in my eyes, a lump in my throat. Fuck. I still can’t believe this is real life. Again.

So it’s definitely blueskee, right?

Forever obsessed with this cat that lives in my bushes.

Would love to delete my “x” accounts, but that would require me to redownload the app and that’s not happening. 🤷🏻‍♀️