Zoë Fried

Freudian Theory is my astrology

I’ve realized that I start yelling when I’m not using vision correction because I can’t use people’s facial expressions to gauge whether or not they are hearing me

Currently have one of the worst mosquito bites of all time on my leg; I now know what it felt like to give birth to Dionysus

Adulthood is realizing that Oscar the Grouch actually had the right idea the whole time

“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful”

Report: You Will Never Find Love Like 2 Teens Sharing Electric Scooter CHICAGO—Confirming that the joy and sheer, reckless rapture they experienced would always be just out of reach, a new report published Monday revealed that you would never find a love like that shar...

"It has become abundantly clear that you will never have a relationship as intimate or thrilling as that of two 14-year-olds speeding down the road on a battery-powered scooter."

Pulling up to the club in these bad boys

I have so many questions

If loving solitaire is wrong, then I don’t want to be right

Thank you I think I will play sudoku and feel beautiful

I want to clarify that in this situation, I am a dog

Sorry everyone I pre downloaded Threads; it’s a dog eat dog world out there

Tell me this is not the 2023 version of an orange mocha frappucino

Me and my bluesky community

Does anyone remember Clubhouse, or was it just a dream that I had?

Reconnecting with my twitter mutuals

Most supervillains are extravagantly wealthy. I want to change that. Let’s democratize evil, together

the ooze didn’t take so i guess i need to get a job or something