Andrew

D’oh!

I was wearing SPF 50 too! This is the problem of having the pallor of a Victorian workhouse boy!! 😭

Curse my Irish DNA! Curse it!! Gonna feel that tomorrow…

Guess who got sunburnt today? D'oh.

Door to door sales people are so annoying. Especially when they don't take 'No thanks!' as an answer.

I might cook a Sichuan firepot for dinner tonight. Nice and spicy!

I love Natalie. She did Bristol Pride a few years ago and I saw her at that. She was great!

What is this? I must know what I am.

Other than “I think I’ll try defying gravity…” I don’t think she was thinking that much.

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Some straight girl just tried to slut-drop against her man in the middle of the bar but missed and ended up on the floor. That’s enough Babycham for you, lady…

Ended up in town for a drink. Oopsie.

The trimmer ran out of juice mid haircut and now I look like a bloody skunk.

He looks pleased with himself though.

It’s too hot in my house. I wish I had air con!

My main thought was “Yeah, no shit!” when she said it.

I knew what you meant. lol I could easily spend £200 or more, but I try to show self-restraint.

I learnt on my cruise recently that I averaged £75 a day at the bar, but could have easily spent more had I gone for cocktails and champagne rather than beer and wine.

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Hygienist: One of your gums is bleeding!

Me (internally): You've just been scratching at it for 5 minutes with a sharp metal tool, of course it's chuffing bleeding.

I'd probably allow myself £100 - 150 per day knowing that prices are inflated at stalls. Why, what have you budgeted?

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I have a hygienist appointment later so no lunch until mid-afternoon for me and I gots a rumble in my tumble already!! 😭

Pinch, punch, first of the month! No returnsies!!

I once went for an audition where I was asked to lose weight from my ‘round’ face (this was when I was much smaller), I had to politely explain that I couldn’t as what they were seeing was my jawbone. People can be so dumb.

Thanks. Although I’ve literally been called ugly to my face more than once. I may never win a beauty pageant, but never mind.

I now have 6 days off in a row and have no idea how to spend all my time!! If I’d known, I’d have made plans. Do I go to Manchester maybe?

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I’m tired of being fat and ugly, but if my gym attempts pay off, I’ll just be ugly instead…

Makin' my way downtown, walkin' fast, faces pass, and I'm homebound...

I’m “getting random whiskery hairs growing out of my ears” years old.

All the hotels will be booked already, it's too far for me to travel just for the day.

Alas, I don't have that much spare cash.