danielle can't cook

That adorable reindeer deserves waffles with peanut butter

My shorthaired cat named Pidgeon is under a chair, staring intently at the camera slash phone. She is annoyed that her hiding spot isn't actually hidden. She is a tabby with a white splotch around her mouth, white feet, and a white belly that has fluffier hair than the rest of her.

Fun fact: Pidgeon's full name is "don't feed the pigeons"

The following is a screenshot of some text messages sent by me in short succession: You used to be cool, but now you're yuck. Bootlicking Trumpy fanboy. I'm done. I wanted to talk about anything but politics. You just yelled conspiracy theories at me. Lick me where I shit.

My dumbass tried to talk to him again. After he yelled at me for conspiracy theories that i was apparently accomplice to FOR OVER 10 MINUTES, and repeatedly called me a libtard.

He has to be dead to me right now.

Maybe he will come back from the dead someday. Not holding my breath
#hashtag

Soft TACO Supreme, extra chicken.

My very large poodle mix stares forelornly at my cat. Only the back of the cats ears are in the pic.They are separated by an open sliding glass door. Brunodoodle's attempts at play have been rebuffed. He respects her personal space boundaries because they have been defended by cat claws and increasingly louder hissing. Boundaries can be maintained, but sometimes you need to go pissed off kitty at them. He will try to play with her again tomorrow. He's a very optimistic bernedoodle. He takes his rejection out on my clothing and pillows - neve33thw cat

I'm just a doodle, looking at a cat. Asking her to love me.

Poor floppy muppet can't figure out why she doesn't want to play - but he is absolutely smart enough to figure out how consent works!

#hashtag #HOWDOHASHTAGSWORK #BrunoVsPidgeon #EmoDog #fdt8647

Maybe

I dig it. Thank you for making it happen

Text: Your military service was spent defending democracy. It's a shame your retired life is defending the enemies. You obviously don't know how to live without someone in command.

Text: trump is a putin puppet. Has been for years. He has no morals, just greed. His ego is more important than any average Joe. You are defending a wannabe Emporor. But I just see him with no clothes

It makes me sad for you. I know you have a good heart, so i don't know what went wrong. Nevertheless, fuck off until you pull your head out of your ass

I hate that i have to end this friendship. I've known him since high school. I officiated his wedding. But I'm sick of drunken midnight texts ranting about commie Kamala and so much nonsense.

I'm trying to set boundaries. Not ready to block him just yet - just in case he sees the light.

Poem by Sam Pink titled Woodchuck. The woodchuck in my backyard doesn't trust me. And he's right. Because the first chance i get I'm gonna put this tiny witch hat on him. Stupid piece of shit.

Tiny witch hats can be crafted at home, therefore not subject to tariffs.

Thank you Sam Pink for my new life goals.

Las Vegas is not an acknowledged woodchuck habitat, but stranger things have happened here & I'd like to be prepared
#woodchucksofinstagram #ironichashtags #haberdashery #witchery

A very large bernedoodle shaved short, and a small stout brown pibble take a moment from playtime to let me get a nice photo. He's laying down, she's sitting and they are both looking at the camera

Pops is on an Honor Flight in DC, so we have his pup for the weekend! Bruno + Nova = BruNova the whirlwind of happy dogs with brief moments of photo ops

Happy all of the holidaze.

I'm kinda disappointed I couldn't find a Stoner Zombie Jesus wearing bunny ears pinata, but otherwise a lovely day.

@mr-franzen.bsky.social found you!

A practically brand-new velour couch with rhinestone buttons that looks like it belongs in a jazz speakeasy. It's a teal greenish-blue

Tomorrow is bulk pick-up & trash day, so I wandered through my neighborhood to scope shit out. (I brought my dog so it just looked like a walk).

Someone bought this (and its twin), put them together, probably never sat on them, disassembled and left the parts for the garbage truck.

SCORE! #TRASH

Nevada Republican Governor Joe Lombardo said during a recent private dinner that his message to people who criticize him on social media is "fuck you."

My hand holding a softback book of Hollywood by Charles Bukowski. Background includes some spring flowers and an out of focus lump of my cat Pidgeon

I found myself reading it in his voice from the first page, so i went to find a reading or something to find his cadence and refresh my memory. Then i found this gem.

It's like the opposite of captions

youtu.be/mSFbjJ0VB7s?...

Your Daily Affirmation:

I associate only with those who see being a kind person as a worthy and important goal and everyone else can fuck right off. #AlsoWaffles

Not-thin tabby cat tongue-bathing behind her knee

Chonky-ish tabby named Pidgeon licking her toes

Gonna wash that phrump right outta my hair

#hashtag #toebeans #lickthekitty #dirtycat #felonioustrump #felinesAgainstFelons #catsHateTrump #pussyrebellion

I'm not seeing Las Vegas 😕

A swasticar with red and white striped and a blue panel with a picture of flag, secret service agents, and a felon with a bloody ear painted on the door

I saw this in real life and had to take a photo just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

I was really hoping this was a figment of my imagination.

#hashtag #swasticar #punchanazi #vegasdouchery #goldencalf #muskrat #deportElon #infowarriorride

You might be the 2nd Stupidest Angel. SOCKS ARE YOUR FRIEND. Keep your toes (and the rest of you) safe.

I shall continue to be a pussywillow, then. Soft, fuzzy, and resilient - until it's time to turn into a cloud of allergies. Also people laugh a little when they say my name.

Is this waiter flirting with me because they just handed me a piece of paper that says ME N U

YouTube video by Rhett & Link’s Wonderhole Say NO to Crack, Say YES! to Roller Skating

Sometimes we all need a nostalgic pallet cleanser. Say no to crack, yes to roller skating!

youtu.be/t0LSkX46dS4?...

A very large black/white muppet doodle wearing a tiny tuxedo costume with fake hands one has champagne bottle. It looks ridiculous, especially with a little fedora that says happy new year on top of his floppy head

Mabel, meet Bruno

Have a timeline cleanse

I love this

White text on black background: remember when sarah palin was the craziest person in politics? Good times.

I'm having an existential crisis. Is this shit really actually happening or am I stuck in some computer generated simulation or purgatory?

What the fuuuuuuhhhhh....

Wtf. I'm holding on by a thread

Orangey McFelon doesn't get to rewrite the history his illiterate ass couldn't understand to begin with.

Red, white, and Blueland? Huh?

This can't be real-live grown-ups running the country. I don't know of my liver can handle another 4 years of ludicrousity.