MJ

Rabbits look like kangaroos when they stand on their hind legs

I would like to thank the two pharmacies I’ve never been to and the eye doctor I went to 16 years ago for the birthday wishes

When I accidentally leave a gas flame lit for hours the oven range not care, but if I leave the refrigerator door open for more than 3 seconds, the fridge completely loses its shit. Explain this to me, appliances

Look, I’m going to Grand Pied at 10:15. Life is good 😁

Thankful to White Lotus for making me happy I’m not filthy rich

Relatable

I wasn’t even THERE

Sickening

Well, at least it wasn’t Elon who fired me. It’s the little things, you know?

Very uncertain times

Regrets of the unemployed (as of today) - prepaying for a non-refundable spring break vacation to Savannah

Love this, Matthew

Great photo!

Same, Emmett. If you are okay with me crying.

It’s soufflé season

Every phone call to a business inevitably leads to me cursing and screaming “talk to a human!” multiple times

I am so sorry to hear this, Emmett. Heartbreaking.

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I am so glad you are here 🤗

Saint Louis! My street was just salted AND plowed. What is happening??

Right?

I’ll never forget my realtor telling me about her clients who announced at their closing that they had both quit their jobs. They couldn’t close on the house then, so they were jobless AND homeless

I didn’t follow them just to make a point - that they will never notice

Okay, I just saw another person on here who follows nobody, has never posted, but has over twice as many followers as I do

Say hi to Pierce if you see him 😀

I’m not afraid of quicksand anymore

Just realized being trapped in the house for 4 days due to snow has made zero difference to my lifestyle

I play the NYT Mini for the song at the end. I need more accomplishment music in my life

Assuming you were alive, how scared of Satan were you in the 80s?

If better be good considering the processing fee