Mom of Madness

The internship was for two hours, one day a week btw. In case you wondered if we had sold our son into forced labor.

I’m still a bit salty, which is why my husband is handling this one. 😆

When I say “bailed on” I mean sent his father an irate F-bomb laced rant via text at 5 am where he listed his reasons (some valid, some absolutely not) for refusing this “indentured servitude” that he’d been completely enthusiastic about up until that point. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🙄🤪🥺🥸 (#allthefeels)

My husband and I discussed the situation and decided he would be the one to talk with our son and gently help him sift through the layers to try to find the truth behind his reaction and actions and where to go from here.

Ah, the challenges of #parenting an adult child with #mentalhealth issues.

He is super intelligent and extremely emotional and both are under the umbrella of extreme anxiety, which he tends to stuff down until it explodes out of him.

So a recurring theme in his life is self-sabotage when the fear of potential failure overtakes a step he makes toward any life goals.

My 21 yo spent six weeks working with his adult education services coordinator to set up, interview, and attend introductory training for an internship which he bailed on the day it was supposed to start.

Yet again, we stumble to gain a few steps forward only to slide back.

The most innocuous things can set my son off, and it can be so easy to write it off as him being obnoxiously over dramatic.

But it’s almost always a deeper fear that’s the underlying problem and the small issue is just the random spark to the trail of gunpowder he’s been leaking for weeks.

What’s terrifying is that this time last year I would have scoffed at the very idea. Now, however… yeesh.

My oldest texted me at 2 am wanting to move to Canada immediately before ICE hauled him away to a queer concentration camp. So it was a fun night.

NGL. Caring for your adult mentally ill child is exhausting y’all.

The ups and downs we’ve experienced in this household in the month since Inauguration Day have been staggering. We’re all alive still though, so #winning

For now.

If you are just entering your journey in parenting a child with #mentalhealth problems, know that the stages of grief apply to expectations of life experiences too. Give yourself permission to grieve your vision of #parenthood and how you’ll have to change it to meet your child’s extra needs.

Oh, that’s rough! I’m so sorry. I hope it helped and that things have been easier since (but I understand that’s often not how it goes.)

As soon as our kids were each old enough to stay home alone, we let them decide for themselves. We also switched churches several years ago to find one that would be welcoming of their queer selves if they did ever want to join us.

Thank you for the encouragement! And the reminder about PFLAG… I just googled our local chapter to get info!

Anyone else with a queer child terrified for their safety right now? The amount of support we’ve needed to provide since November 6th has been staggering. Including an ER visit for suicidality four days before Christmas.

#parenting #mentalhealth #lgbtqia #queerkids

Note: “parental mobilizing” isn’t an industry term, it’s just what I call it. Because averting a crisis involves task force level involvement from both me and my husband and we’ve been practicing it for 15+ years.

What is parental mobilizing?

A lot of factors. May include but not limited to:
1 Talking it out
2 Coaching healthy coping
3 Taking a drive or going for a walk
4 One parent with crisis child, one with other children
5 Explaining & enforcing healthy boundaries
6 Discussing plan of action
Any others?

2025 is not off to a great start for us. I think we’re on our fifth time this month of parental mobilizing to prevent another suicide attempt by our 21 y.o. first born.

#Mentalllness #Parenting #SuicidePrevention #mentalhealthsupport #anxiety