ricdro

The current regime took a week to abolish USAID, which is three times as old and was not in the news every day for brutalizing children

I am obsessed with the Eminem AI posts now. It’s crazy

lmao

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

You absolutely know he's going to claim it's more meaningful of an award if he's the only person who has one

h-o-t-t-o-g-o
how spell hot dog? I don't know!

One thing you need to understand about Trump is that a lot of people felt bad for him because he has a new type of brain damage. So we let him be president to make the world seem softer and more fair. And sometimes you gotta do that for people.

maybe i am going insane

You can lie this directly about culture war shit that people can imagine is real in their heads but you can't lie about someone's bank account

lmao they have a lot of work to do to get those elections rigged up before the next midterm or Trump is gonna burn the Republican party down for a decade

When the news calls you a “divisive figure” in 2025 that means you did some atrocities

The Onion: How to Join ICE

STEP 1 Be born with something just…missing STEP 2 Try deporting a few neighbors without the constitutional authority to do so, to see if it’s for you STEP 3 Unlearn any secondary languages you may know STEP 4 If filling out the application form presents a challenge, candidates may instead demonstrate how hard they can punch a dog

How to Join ICE

theonion.com/how-to-join-...

a matador's goal is to avoid physical contact

Sex workers posting wildly incorrect WW2 rage bait to get people to click on their bio instead of thirst traps is the funniest anecdote you can tell about this place

posting on X the everything app now is basically

YOU: *posts some anodyne liberal take*

SOME GUY: here's a picture of you in your house last night

tbf almost no one here thinks we live in a democracy

it's so funny to see America's health insurance companies be like "look. If there's one thing we love it's denying you care. but we ran the numbers - and we cannot BELIEVE we're saying this - and it's cheaper for us to just pay for the vaccines than deal with you going to the ER."

Look, they do not have the capacity or competence to do this at the scale they want you to fear they do, and your fear is precisely their greatest force multiplier. Everybody who is cowed into silence by their threats allows them a smaller pool to focus on.

This is simply untenable. There is no way forward with media and political classes captured by the right. Every time someone commits a crime you have to pray it's not an undesirable or it's purge time, then when it turns out to be themselves again they just shrug and wait for the next one.

ON TV TONIGHT (columns for 8:00, 9:00, 10:00) ABC: Attack On America America Attacked America In Crisis America Still In Crisis NBC: A Nation Looks Around For Someone To Hit America On The Verge Of Flying Off The Handle America's Time Of Trial: Who Fucking Wants Some? You? Do You? How 'Bout You? CBS Dan Rather's 83rd Straight Hour On The Air Dan Rather Seriously Loses His Shit Medicating Dan Rather BET Wartime At The Apollo Tavis Smiley Presents: Terrorists Strike America-The White Man Finds Somebody Else To Fear And Demonize For A Change MTV The 100 Greatest, But, In Light Of Recent Events, Not As Important As Being Good To Our Loved Ones, Videos Of All Time Yo! MTV Extends Its Condolences Talking To Blink 182 About The Tragedy Carson Daly In Way Over His Head Lifetime Golden Girls Golden Girls Golden Girls Golden Girls Golden Girls Golden Girls History Last Tuesday In History Two Weeks Ago, As Told By Those Who Lived It Last Tuesday In History (rerun)

Behold, the best 9/11 humor of all time: The Onion's TV listings (my favorite row is MTV)

Tapping the sign

Monday: I wish it was Friday. Friday: I wish I was dead. Death: Hell yeah work sucks

hell yeah

Here's a version that was archived.

archive.org/details/60-m...

Google's Gemini AI tells a Redditor it's 'cautiously optimistic' about fixing a coding bug, fails repeatedly, calls itself an embarrassment to 'all possible and impossible universes' before repeating 'I am a disgrace' 86 times in succession

I'll admit, I was skeptical when they said Gemini was just like a bunch of PhDs. But I gotta admit they nailed it.