Torqolbo!

Hunty Holler

I second this and I am currently killing time somewhere where I only have my phone for entertainment. You are forcing me to go to Facebook.
[goes to facebook] Oh no!

a green stuffed frog is sitting on a staircase Alt: a green stuffed frog (Kermit's nephew Robin) is sitting on a staircase

Halfway up the stairs.

Yes. One must always ask oneself, "Would this photo look terrible next to a sentence like 'Sorry for your loss'?"

Or you are calling me a rake. Those days are behind me, good sir!

If it's 'rake', that doesn't make the sentence the four-way spoonerism that 'bake' (taken from 'ball') does.

bake the hall in the candle of her brain

“THROW HER, THROW HER!” my wife screams while watching pairs figure skating with the passion of 80,000 Romans gathered in the Colosseum circa 100 AD

Doctor: ok, so your echocardiogram results are in

Me: is it...

Doctor: yes, I'm afraid we found that the Groove has made it's way into your heart

Sorely tempted to make this my profile pic.

I just dropped an egg, caught it between my leg and the stove then let it roll onto my foot, where it balanced nicely. For extra points, I should've then used my foot to toss it back up to my hand, but luck was already being pushed and this isn't Shaolin Soccer.

hoping that once this AI bubble pops, companies that never adopted it will brand themselves with something like “never AI” or “always human” and be rewarded hugely for it

Two photos. The left shows me, in a red shirt with a white blouse under it, a daisy flower crown in my hair, a navy blue knee length skirt, and brown flat, holding a tray and drinking from a champagne flute. The right painting is a woman in a red shirt with white cuffs, a dark green ankle length skirt, a maid cap, brown shoes, holding a tray and drinking from a champagne flute.

Today is the 5 year anniversary to when I slowly started losing my mind during the pandemic and began dressing up as works of art.

As my Twitter account has long been abandoned, why not make a thread of my madness on BlueSky?

This was “The Maid” by Wilhelm August Lebrecht Amberg, from 1862

He also fast-tracked the slowdown from what I heard.

To: Jeffrey Epstein[jeevacation@gmail.com] From: Sent: Wed 7/15/2009 1:56:13 AM Subject: Re: florida visit? good typing! oh well, looks like it's a long flight anyhow... edmonton is so far away from EVERYTHING. On Tue, Jul 14, 2009 at 7:49 PM, Jeffrey Epstein <jeevacation@gmail.com> wrote: i am tied up until aug On Tue, Jul 14, 2009 at 9:41 PM, wrote: You planted a seed with your invite today. I have next Wed thru Sunday off (July 22-26), my last vacation for months. I was going to take polo lessons in Calgary but I (DON'T) think my body can handle it! I pull a muscle every time, and I'm starting to realize my budding polo career might have to take a back seat to my actual job. think What are you doing next week?

The word don't is censored. Don't, or Don T. If you're looking for just some fun proof they're doing control+f censoring

Aww!

Zhuzh not lest ye be zhuzhed.

This one either needs more love or is the worst thing I've ever written.
bsky.app/profile/torq...

I just realized that the Blue Jays vs. Dodgers World Series is exactly like Game of Thrones for me in that parts 6 and 7 don't exist and never have

Instant "That's Kid n' Play" from me.

[If we're tracking demographics, I'm a 57-year-old white guy who is usually into singer-songwriters with guitars and clinical depression and/or garage bands comprised of drunken teenagers.]

I would also be able to identify Kriss Kross.

BREAKING: Viewers of “Melania” Documentary Receive Call Telling Them They Will Die in 7 Days

Turns out there was a much worse email.
(not sharing, too ick, besmirches my pristine page, but feel free to run a name search)

Yeah, you could've told a soul, Pete.
Another one for the shunned pile, Canadian edition

Is the Pope in an uncomfortable position because it hurts when he doubles over in laughter? This could be pleurisy and he should get it checked out.

It's literally just Nicki Minaj, Brett Ratner, and people in the Trump administration.

it's time to kill the music
it's time to cut the lights
it's time to fight the Muppets in the parking lot tonight

Stephanie's not just a secret Canadian, but a secret Newf.
I need her hero arc to start right now and last seven seasons.

I did not expect to hear "Lard Tunderin' Jaysus!" on Fallout the TV show.

i was wondering if there is a word hidden in the alphabet and the answer is ‘no’

WE HAVE SUCH SIGHTS TO SHOW YOU