Lonnie

Why is everyone facing away from the store except the man at the far left?

This is fine. We’re fine. Everything is fine.

He saluted a North Korean dictator but couldn’t put his hand over his heart to honor a former U.S. president at his funeral.

We were supposed to get 2-5 inches of snow but got just a few drizzles. Snow is so overrated. Ice; that’s where it’s at. Jk. I WANT SNOW

Why does tRump want Greenland and Canada? To protect them from Russia? I thought he was friends with the dictator.

Everything stated in this post is a provable fact.

You are entitled to your own opinion.

You are not entitled to your own facts.

Looking at YOU, 2020 election-deniers.

My mom has been crocheting for over 20 years. When in comparison I have been crocheting for maybe 30 minutes, im trying at least 😭 @Amy Ruiz TikTok video by 𝓐𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂

www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8NwJBaf/

Craaaab people. Craaaab people.

Ron desantis wearing white knee high boots with blue jeans tucked into them

lol

You just need more cow bell

Those aren’t vacation landscape photos. Those are feet pics with nice backgrounds

When you forget to switch to your burner account

“First, they came for the journalists. We don’t know happened next.”— @mariaressa.bsky.social

@femlfm.bsky.social why I followed you:

I just recently started following you and I would like a little clarification. Do you charge $10 to talk to weird guys? I didn’t understand this part of the interaction. What is the $10 for?

I never cooked and hated the thought of it. A couple of years ago, my mother had surgery for her knee and couldn’t walk well. I had to learn to cook for her because she didn’t want Mac and cheese every night. Been looking for good recipes ever since. I’ll try this one and hope she likes it. 🙃

genie: for your first wish?

me: I wish for more wishes

genie: that’s against the rules

me: I wish for more genies

genie: *checks notes* god dammit

My mobile boom box.

I was scrolling (maybe stalking but that is between me and the police) your posts and I saw this one. I wish I was the possum. I’ll settle for the recipe. Gimme gimme. Sure, the description is fairly self explanatory but I need directions because my ADHD told me so.

When did farting become a funny noise? Be careful or I’ll turn that blanket into a Dutch oven.

I’ve got boobs! They’ve grown as my belly gets bigger. I’ve been told that men can’t have babies but I’ve seen the documentary “Junior”. I’m holding out hope that a baby will pop out (it’s been several years now) and I’ll lose some weight. I’ll let you touch them as long as you don’t laugh.

I’ve thought about this “harmless” statement for a few minutes and I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to fight more people. Babies seem like a good start. I may win half but I’ll learn from my losses.

I’ve gotten about 10 new followers today. I don’t know what I did but I like the love. Thank you

ME: anything?
PROSTITUTE: anything

*an hour later*

PROSTITUTE: ok I made dinner, set that appt for you, and called your mom back but this was a one time thing bc you’re fuckin sick

Wanna know what’s inside the Trump Bible?

As long as you have to get up every time you need to refill your glass, you are doing better. Think of all that exercise.