Stuart Logan

Obnoxious Friend Won't Stop Attaining Major Life Milestones

Obnoxious Friend Won't Stop Attaining Major Life Milestones https://theonion.com/obnoxious-friend-wont-stop-attaining-major-life-milesto-1819574646/

What is Narya, the Ring of Fire?

Watching how fast NFL teams hire coaches — people in charge of major decisions in multimillion dollar businesses in a very high profile position —tells me that most companies don’t want to hire people. The hiring process doesn’t need 5 rounds and 3 months of interviewing.

I actually would like the firstborn if that’s on the table I could use some help around the house

Hit me up @govpressoffice.gov.ca.gov

They were playing bangers at the grocery store yesterday. Also my bill is like 25-30% higher than it was two years ago, so that fucking nerd Will Stancil can suck my dick balls and asshole

much like a sled dog Stancil absolutely HAS to be forcibly directed towards useful work or he immediately starts chewing holes in the house, shitting all over everything and biting nearby children

Huge digitals officially diagnosed adult content

It’s just like 1984

I don't know what Bluesky thinks "show less like this" means, but it doesn't show less like that.

wow i've been having so much fun with this game lately, i'm really starting to-

*dies in game*

actually i hate video games and if you play them that probably makes you a bad person

Obviously it is far from the primary concern here but it's really funny to me that the official stance of the US Army is that its members are fucking losers and can't pull.

The Abu Ghraib prison guard Blackwater mercenary Nazi being welcomed into the “big tent” is everything you need to know about the Democratic Party. I hate it here. We can’t even get a no Nazi chest pieces policy, you think there’s going to be trials? Impeachments?

little boy looking smug at the camera

this is how i look over at the guy who spent the last 5 minutes terrorizing everyone on the road, weaving in and out of traffic, trying to go 60 in a neighborhood, when we all get stuck at the same red light bc none of that actually did anything

we need to put all these fuckers in the hague then defund ice turn all their real estate into housing and spend the balance on a national mrna cancer and disease moonshot

Isn’t that the kid from TheReportOfTheWeek

(youth pastor voice) You know who else reviewed poorly at launch but went on to be considered one of the great all-time classics?

The president doesn’t have the power to levy tariffs. This is nothing and you should cover it like it’s nothing. You might as well say ‘Congress debates law to make it illegal for President to molest more children’

nobody wants another f2p multiplayer shooter but its the only thing capital will invest in because of how big the two (2) multiplayer shooters that anyone plays are so you just repeat launch dead games forever because capital is dumb as (black)rocks

David Lo Pan, a ghoulish figure in ornate colorful Chinese regalia, stands against a red and gold privacy screen. Captioned “I will marry both women.”

me after seeing two beautiful women in any context whatsoever

The always-bulky Zaku 3, a large gray and white mono-eyed mobile suit from Mobile Suit ZZ Gundam

People make fun of the Zaku 3's chode cannons but they're just being mean. It's cool to have little pelvis guns with little handlebars on them

Historians will say that all these institutions were debased by Trump through threats and intimidation. This will be a fucking lie. They all debased themselves. Trump's threats were always empty paper tiger crap. They capitulated because they were either cowardly idiots or secretly on his side.

I want to see a justice process that’s like the French Revolution but for Republicans.

Gee America, how come your mom lets you have TWO domestic occupying armies?

Age verification? I was there, Gandalf. 2000 years ago…

all i want to do online is play video games, talk to my friends, and look at girls boobs and every fucking day some freak i've never met decides to make it harder and harder to do that

Worm, switch my weapon! Split Soul Katana! Counter that deals percent damage, hyah! Take this sweep that avoids i-frames, and get launched! Take my rush down multi-hit! G-g-g-g-g-g-gah! Ugh! Gah! Grah! Ugh! Combo! 1 2 3 4, I declare a thumb war! Bleed mode!

How long will his dick be

If anyone is selling you the opportunity to make money, *you* are how *they* make money and the 'secret' they have is convincing people like you to pay them.

There will be a lot of smoke & mirrors to make it look like you have agency, but the product is your gullibility.

Large television showing the boonta eve classic

They got the big game on at the bar

Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night