Christian

A three-panel composite from the movie HACKERS, the coolest movie. Dade Murphy: I got a record! I was 'Zero Cool'! Paul Cook: Zero Cool? Crashed fifteen hundred and seven computers in one day? Biggest crash in history, front page New York Times August 10th, 1988.

Happy Zero Cool Day to all who celebrate.

dade on stage in a custom canvas jumpsuit, white on one side and black on the other. Microphone in hand, action shot of rapping a song. Hak5 pineapple pager clipped to my jumpsuit, and a lanyard with a yellow floppy disk hanging around my neck. Screen in the background is filled with green scrolling text.

Last night, I rapped live at @defcon.bsky.social for the first time.

During my song titled “DFIU”, I attempted to get off stage and ripped my pants.

While literally singing about “don’t fuck it up,” I fucked it up.

Could not have been funnier if I had planned it.

Still finished the set.

I don’t mean to brag, but I made a purchase this week and only spent like 10 hours in deep research analysis paralysis first

great catch, you almost typed it out!

Hide My Email addresses are cool until you’re on the phone with the bank and they ask for the email address on record

“yeah so that’s gonna be
slobber-tourers.42@icloud.com”

when I have a meeting in 10 minutes I begin the sacred ritual of ending my previous meeting, which takes 45 minutes and involves fire

oh shit it’s happening. when does the season start?? I miss Dillon

I was going camping and hit a mini mart at like 6:30 am to fill the cooler. I asked the cashier why the beer fridge was locked and he hit me with a super serious “sir you can’t buy alcohol this late at night, you need to wait until tomorrow”

my brother in christ, sunrise was an hour ago

python packaging isn’t fixed until every package is in the stdlib

flight attendant: please store your luggage vertically, like a book on a bookshelf. or a taco in a taco shell.

me: quietly panicking as I realize I have never understood tacos

I swear he just blew a red light but it turned green at the exact moment we entered the intersection

unsure whether to be wildly impressed or scared for my life, but the vibes are immaculate regardless

he looked at me through the rearview mirror and said “i have one question for you.”
“sure.”
“are you ready to do this?”
“I think so?”
“I don’t do ‘think so’s. I only do ‘know so’s.”

I weep for our future

my uber driver just pulled up in a red tesla covered in crystals and tibetan prayer flags. I fear we have unlocked the final bro.

incredibly blursed, I need it?

REVIEWING THE BEST 4K MONITORS!

Wow this was a lot of work. Okay so the 4,000th best monitor is a horrible green-phosphor CRT from 1959 which gives you electric shocks during normal usage

The 3,999th best monitor isn't much better. Get comfortable, we've got a long way to go until the good ones

good news: I’ve built a time machine

bad news: it only goes forward at 60 mph (minutes per hour)

what are you using for a self-hosted Dependabot alternative? I haven’t looked into the space very deeply at all

you have hot singles in your area. I have compromised voter rolls and a suspiciously blinking router. we are not the same.

poor guy, being a cat seems hard

how to fall asleep quickly: be a cat and climb on top of someone who was about to get up

pretty sure most of my memories take place inside a Circuit City that legally never existed

(the judge said this explains a lot but still banned me from owning electronics)

my favorite childhood memory: staying up past my bedtime to leak classified documents because the public had a right to know

I was 5 years old and hid the evidence in a box of Capri Suns

my childhood memories are just vibes and three suspiciously detailed Capri Sun commercials

still convinced that “having childhood memories” is just an elaborate bit everyone committed to years ago and now they’re stuck

The only three problems in CS are databases, compilers, and other people.

I asked ChatGPT to do my taxes. It claimed me as a dependent and sold my house??

me at All Hands asking if the AI is also eligible for the performance improvement plan

my brother you need a clipboard, not a chat bot

new AI startup: it just calls you “champ” and agrees to all your worst ideas. subscriptions cost is waived if you’ve ever called yourself a “thought leader” on LinkedIn