ғͭᴏͪᴏͤʟ 🇵🇸

Hey siri sentencing disparity between jimmy crack corn and jimmy coke corn

ahhh the finders fee

part of the problem with modern cinema is there's just not enough slime! why don't we got leading men covered in a whole bukkake's worth of methylcellulose solution??

classic Ghostbusters? fucken drenched. GOAT status

nouveau Ghostbusters? bone dry. dog turds

Me: burlap fell off

Stranger next to me on the bus: while at the consumer level it may have lost some share to plastic packaging, I can assure you it still has its place in larger scale and industrial settings

Me: no I mean when they put me on this bus there was a sack over my head. Fell off

my favorite example of this was a screenshot taken by the author of some library responding to a posting requiring like 5 years of experience with it like "well I may be short on experience with that library because I only created it 3 years ago"

Maurizio Cattelan – Novecento, 1997

it's been 27 years you can let me down now

y’all told me i was crazy when i downloaded all of tiktok and put it on blu-rays but who’s laughing now

Trump will "save" it (tell them they can stay if they make the algo pro Trump) and announce to the masses he rescued their favorite app from destruction

the banning of tiktok is another painful reminder to buy physical copies of your media. i have dozens of dvds of an ai voice reading reddit comments over unrelated minecraft footage.

My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like Garfield the cartoon cat disproves evolution. Sometimes, he would accuse Charlie Brown of having hoes.

ban email next

I've been okay before. looking to get back there one day

The Woof of Wallstreet

The Car Dependent Society and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.

a hand holds a bottle of mtn dew baja blast in front of a blurry background of a cafeteria

after all why shouldn't i get baja blasted?

using the work phonebooth room to crank out a couple real heinous toots

They should make transvestigating but for figuring out if someone's Italian

People think I'm some kind of freak for eating so much pineapple. How else am I going to stomach the taste of my own cum?

Rupert the dog looking stoically at the camera while wearing a cowboy hat

When I die I may not go to heaven
I don't know if they let cowboys in

took her to my haunted house, then I creeped it

Large fluffy dog wet and covered in mud sitting on a porch, looking into an open door to a house staring off to the side of the camera

Rupert 1000yd Stare

Large fluffy dog wet and covered in mud sitting on a porch, looking into an open door to a house staring off to the side of the camera

Rupert 1000yd Stare

You wouldn't run over a cowboy, would you?

2025 New Year's resolution:
Wear a cowboy hat to my engineering job as much as I possibly can

Me when the audio doesn't process:
"What?"

I don't get it. Why doesn't NorthernLion simply eat Dan Hentschel?

Every rude complaint is actually a suggestion to help lighten the nightmare workload presented by bluetooth

People I know should stop dying. Very rude of them.

I wish I hadn't betrayed my close friend. My betrayal hurting their feelings is getting annoying 🙄🙄🙄

welcome to the cocktagon