Brandon Metheny

I teach 7th grade at my synagogue’s religious school. I got an email from a former student who is a sophomore in college, asking if I’d write her a recommendation for a trip to Germany through Hillel. She said she wanted me to write it because my class is the reason she’s interested. Best day ever.

My favorite part about the middle stage is that it lasts for approximately 7 minutes before SPRINTING to the latter.

Adding “Shabbos dinner at Akiva’s” to my wishlist.

As an attorney, I commend you on answering precisely the question asked and nothing further. Ideal deposition behavior. Never volunteer extraneous information.

Mazel Tov!!!!! May you all have many, many wonderful things to celebrate for years to come.

I just turned 40. What should I have? Besides generally achy joints

You know how people sometimes fail the MPRE, not because the test is hard, but because it asks for the minimum ethical standard and they’re more ethical than that? It’s that, just in reverse.

This is amazing! What a perfect way to capture the story (also a personal favorite). Incredible work!

I don’t even understand why he would be vague about it. He’s in grad school for the thing. He presumably has at least a vague interest in it. Just talk about it! Be excited! Giant red flag here.

My all time favorite Yiddish insult is “May you have someone named after you soon.”

My mom had surgery a few years ago, getting part of a lung removed. I was nervously waiting & a friend said “they just said there’s a call from the OR for Ms. Tucker’s family.” I almost broke my leg rushing to the counter for a call of “everything went great!” Can I get some sort of indicator light?

This question (or some variant of it) comes up occasionally. Every time, there are two correct answers: That Thing You Do and Scotty Doesn’t Know.

The United States in 2025:

When a conversation about security for the High Holidays (itself a stressful and distressing enough topic) also includes “what do we do if ICE shows up?”

My torts professor loved this case and brought it up often. His other go-to: the “canister vacuum” case (Larue v. National Union). He also dressed as “Tortman” for Halloween & said he was “raising the spirits of Halloween” before taking a swig from a bottle of Jack. Peter Swisher was one of a kind.

Mazel Tov, Charlotte! Incredibly well deserved to you both!

Mazel Tov! I hope things go well for you and your baby, and that all of you have many more wonderful simchas to celebrate!

If you ever find yourself heading down to Norfolk, I highly recommend checking out the Wisconsin. Guided tours are very worth it, too!

I watched it at lunch today. It was absolutely hilarious! Brilliant work, Ariel! Mazel Tov and congrats!

No one is quite sure what my great grandparents’ last name actually was, but coming from a shtetl, it damn sure wasn’t “Tucker.” But it’s my mom’s last name now!

I work for an independent wrestling company in Virginia, and we brought Page in just before he really made it huge. I’m happy to report he is an absolutely delightful human being and all around nice guy.

I feel personally attacked by this…and thanks for the reminder.

Oh wow, I haven’t thought about Fly Away Home in years. I loved that movie!

Hell yeah, Free Willy!

Mazel Tov!

Was at a wedding where they had pies instead of cake. DJ plays “Cherry Pie” during the pie cutting. Father of the bride, a lovely if somewhat…naive and unplugged man, pauses after the first verse and says “hey, I think this song is about sex!”

Perish the thought!

This always makes me think of this Einstein quote: “If my theory of relativity is proven successful, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare me a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German, and Germany will declare that I am a Jew.”

Chag Sameach! I hope it’s a wonderful one.

A Pesach classic! Chag Sameach to you and yours, Liz!

Up the Rebels!

Hey, I’ll take it!