Stuart Coats

Only one actor has the depth and range to do the job: me, with the help of Irishman de-aging technology

5. The Internet is often very slow/non-existent. Not just in the countryside either; it’s bad in a lot of the cities too

4. If you take cash your bank may give you £50 notes. Don’t let them - lots of places won’t accept these and it can get very frustrating

3. If you want to witness people at their worst go to an English airport during their summer holidays. Especially anywhere near Easyjet counters/gates

2. So many more people smoke there than in NZ

I just got back from a work trip to the UK and I have some observations
1. Lots of businesses don’t answer their phones. If you have an appointment and you’re running late don’t try to tell them via phone

There’s nothing like walking into a head-on collision

Thinking about it, Superman has to be altruistic. He has nothing to gain from doing good, materially. So his “goodness” can only come from a place of wanting to help others. This obviously completes him as a being, as he has everything else in excelsis

Do any of us truly feel altruism, or do we only do nice things to make ourselves feel good/worthy?

I’m not a plumber, but I’m pretty sure this is the same pipe

For some people singing in public is terrifying. Not me. Never me.

In Krakow there’s a cool statue of a dragon that breathes fire. The dragon is the symbol of the city so there’s a lot of stories and dragon activities, especially around the castle

Beautiful walk this morning. That’s my local statue with the moon behind it. Feeling troubled by the world? Go for a nice walk. If you’re extra lucky you’ll meet a friendly dog or two

I’ve often wondered how much better off we’d be without the “dancing Cossacks” ad. The burden of superannuation would be so much more reduced. So, yeah, face punch for him too

Can we start a bit smaller? Maybe just going back to the 80’s and punching Roger Douglas in the face?

my doctor refuses to judge people by the color of their skin, which normally is good, but the thing is i think i have jaundice

has kendall jenner tried giving ICE a pepsi yet

Doctor Teeth and the Medics

I’m back home from touring and this little fella came to say hi. As it’s a kaka it soon started a trail of destruction on my balcony. Still love them tho

Greatest documentary ever. Powerful and disturbing - you’ll want to look away but you won’t be able to

How many male writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb was incandescent, its curves perfectly proportioned. It drew men to it like moths, although it was unaware of just how beautiful it was

How many sound technicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

It’s the f*cken lighting techs job

One of the joys of touring is revisiting old favourites. Tonight I went to Mister D’s in Napier, had a delicious meal, and got to have one of their famous injectable donuts

Donning the Flight Attendant suit of showbiz

Me, in the Safari suit of showbiz

I’ve been very slack in posting coz I’ve been busy entertaining. Here’s me in the sparkly jacket of showbiz

I’m at the NZ vs Pakistan T20. At the risk of sounding like an old man, it feels like the cricket is a distraction between songs #heretowatchthecricket

Note to all hotels: be like Jet Park Auckland and get yourself a friendly foyer cat. Makes getting up early much more tolerable

My Meemees? Screaming