Charismatic Megafauna

Neptune 2: The Search For Neptune, by Evan Pattison 15 track album

I released an album today. It's a sequel to my first album which is in turn, the soundtrack to a game that doesn't exist. This game doesn't exist either. I'd really appreciate it if you'd have a look. Also, I want to make more video game music. It rules.

‘The Onion’ Stands With Israel Because It Seems Like You Get In Less Trouble For That The past week has shown humanity at its worst: A horrific terrorist attack left at least 1,300 Israelis dead, among them peace activists and even innocent children. The fates of many more kidnapped ...

Let us be clear: This is a fraught moment, and one that has polarized not only Americans but people all over the world. It demands incredible sensitivity and strict adherence to journalistic standards of objectivity, and simply put, that is something we aren’t willing to do.

i think twitter and bluesky are kinda funny because most posts to either site by normal people are just answers to interview questions they imagine they’d be asked if they were important enough to be interviewed

once while waiting in line outside a bar in NYC I overheard a passerby on the phone say: “oh… carrie… i’m happy to hear that you sound excited” and i’ve never been able to stop thinking about it. what is carrie excited by? why did her friend not, in fact, seem happy? if you’re carrie, comment below

me: oh no i’m going to be late. everyone is going to hate me.

healthy people: hey i’m late deal with it dumbass

Once more: Hi there,
I’m Snopes’ former community manager. I was laid off during restructuring in March. The job market’s pretty rough but despite that, I have to work if I wish to continue to live. And so, I ask: are you or anyone you know hiring for community, copywriting, or marketing positions?

“Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles” is a favorite quote of mine

i’m a master ranked sf6 player and it depends a little on the character but generally you just do it when you want to get inside and don’t think they’ll be able to stop you, or when you’re already in and want pressure. drive rush normals give you more block advantage.

i miss when i thought of communicating online to be an exciting and liberating peek into the future instead of the existential horror i now know it to be

hello i am bear

If anything says "Twitter under Elon Musk," it's fucking up an easy domain redirect.

A train off the rails next to a highway and a sign behind it that reads, in comic sans "AMERICA... last best hope on earth! [Abraham Lincoln]"

this picture of an Amtrak derailment in Florida is exactly what living in America feels like on a deep emotional level

“an” is basically an intrusive n, codified

me when clicking the like button: “i enjoyed this. this was a good thought that this person shared. in exchange for this, i shall reward them with a small hit of dopamine in hopes that they will share with me more good thoughts in the future”

quote tweet this with a picture of yourself that i would personally find subjectively hot.

The stop starting every gaming YouTube video with "Back in 1986, Super Mario Bros. was released for the NES console" challenge.

Or try spicing it up. How about "Shigeru Miyamoto said 'let there be light' and bathed gamers everywhere in the light of that gun no one used for anything but Duck Hunt"

Reskeet with a favorite photo of yourself

if i ever go to ptown bear week i’m not going until like the last day when everyone’s desperate because they’ve been waiting for someone better to come along all week. why be a 6 for four days when you can swoop in and be a day-5 8

This is so interesting. I wonder why? surely wearing skinny jeans and liking marvel movies isn’t enough, and it’s not like we’re their parents.

if you haven’t written “sunday funday” on your instagram story are you really a muscle bear at brunch

Samus obvi

BlueSky: Trans person makes a joke replying to Jake Tapper, immediately illustrated by comic artist, liked by AOC. Everything gets nine likes.

Threads: Ellen DeGeneres hosts a rap battle between Frito-Lay and Cheez-Its riddled with "chedda," avoiding hard-R. The CIA buys all the data.

Jury duty most of the time feels like a compulsory trip to an alternate universe DMV where everyone is nicer to you than usual

everyone: facebook is evil and zuckerberg sucks
also everyone: find me here on threads

yo threads sucks

straight guys at the gym really do love to wear like full high school gym class regalia into the sauna. don’t worry bro no one’s looking at your dingaling. at least take your shoes off, chad

Authoritarian does not mean “some strangers told me not to do things” but go off i guess

do it dot gif

🤷‍♂️