Matthew K. Johnson

This makes me wonder what you think of the movie "Goon"

I bet Tony is making that “I told you so” face

Ok

The pattern is gay

why are so many ferengi verified on twitter

What if we twerked to Orinoco Flow

Sounds like the opposite is true and he's having trouble convincing himself

Proposal: the bossa nova but at 140 bpm

Hello it’s me

Being 42 and looking 32 (per other people, that’s not my # assessment) is perpetually feeling like you are on borrowed time, like you made a deal with a witch and you were supposed to do something for her but it slipped your mind and she’s going to come due with an ironic punishment any day now…

I can't say I didn't see this current moment we're in coming, but I didn't anticipate that so many of us would dispassionately accept it like a battered spouse

Aunt Gladys is at Pieces

Don’t ass-sume

Praying to the big butt fairy, for what is between me and him

Can I have bread

I will still always argue the best Star Trek’s are Deep Space Nine, Lower Decks and Star Trek novels.

The one thing we can all agree on about tonight’s episode of The Gilded Age is that the floral dress Gladys wore walking in the gardens with Hector is really gorgeous

It’s that and wolves

8.7 magnitude earthquake near Russia prompts tsunami alerts in Hawaii, Alaska and West Coast Tsunami alerts were issued for Alaska and Hawaii on Tuesday after a major, 8.7 magnitude earthquake struck off the coast of Russia, according to officials.

Thinking about everyone back home…

holodeck disable parental restrictions

If you loved me you would buy me a Medcline pillow or alternatively figure out how to stop their targeted ads

I close my menu and look up at the DJ.
“Are you ready with your request?” he asks.
“Yes I think so,” I say. “Can you play some Kylie Minogue?”
The DJ stops writing and gives the slightest of frowns. “Is Dannii okay?” he asks, genially.
I sigh and shrug. “I guess it will have to be.”

Pop culture finally gets me

Looking like he lived through the dustbowl

What's a bigger threat to the bear community, Ozempic or AI event posters?

We are legion

While I'm not surprised that this administration opened an American concentration camp, I never imagined that such a place would be covered dispassionately by the news as though it were the opening of a new airport.

In New York City it's illegal for a landlord to cut heat for tenants. They must provide it because people need it to live. Landlords go to jail for cutting heat. By the same token, we should be able to jail members of congress for cutting medical coverage, another thing people need to live.

So excited for poppers and party drugs to be half-price starting tomorrow

One of the hottest things a man can do is be Worf, son of Mogh