Matthew K. Johnson

Can I have bread

I will still always argue the best Star Trek’s are Deep Space Nine, Lower Decks and Star Trek novels.

The one thing we can all agree on about tonight’s episode of The Gilded Age is that the floral dress Gladys wore walking in the gardens with Hector is really gorgeous

It’s that and wolves

8.7 magnitude earthquake near Russia prompts tsunami alerts in Hawaii, Alaska and West Coast Tsunami alerts were issued for Alaska and Hawaii on Tuesday after a major, 8.7 magnitude earthquake struck off the coast of Russia, according to officials.

Thinking about everyone back home…

holodeck disable parental restrictions

If you loved me you would buy me a Medcline pillow or alternatively figure out how to stop their targeted ads

I close my menu and look up at the DJ.
“Are you ready with your request?” he asks.
“Yes I think so,” I say. “Can you play some Kylie Minogue?”
The DJ stops writing and gives the slightest of frowns. “Is Dannii okay?” he asks, genially.
I sigh and shrug. “I guess it will have to be.”

Pop culture finally gets me

Looking like he lived through the dustbowl

What's a bigger threat to the bear community, Ozempic or AI event posters?

We are legion

While I'm not surprised that this administration opened an American concentration camp, I never imagined that such a place would be covered dispassionately by the news as though it were the opening of a new airport.

In New York City it's illegal for a landlord to cut heat for tenants. They must provide it because people need it to live. Landlords go to jail for cutting heat. By the same token, we should be able to jail members of congress for cutting medical coverage, another thing people need to live.

So excited for poppers and party drugs to be half-price starting tomorrow

One of the hottest things a man can do is be Worf, son of Mogh

I'm very close to attempting the churro balls

Glad I bookmarked all the guys who said they would post hog if Zohran won, pay up fellas

I want to bring "talk to the hand" back

I'm so brave, I asked a gay man 20 minutes ago what he thought of the Eurovision result. He's still typing.

Still traumatized from when I was trapped in a conversation this week with a gay man actually advocating for Andrew Cuomo to be mayor. Like reasoning with a goddamn cow.

Which of the pop girlies cast a spell

Beginner NYC Fat Guy is knowing that the A/C works best in the middle of the train car.

Advanced NYC Fat Guy is knowing that there’s a switch between Atlantic and Nevins on the 2/3/4/5 that turns off the A/C when you pass over it but it will be back on in 5 seconds so you don’t panic.

That's shocking, you of all people should have more of each

Oh my god it’s me

I think it’s so funny that social media is now full of people discussing the existential underpinnings of “twink death” when most of us just use it to describe when we got fat

20 years ago today I moved to New York City

Oh no it was something about a “corrupting ring” wasn’t it

Tinsel the calico glares at you with a furrowed brow

“I asked chatGPT-“ ok, and I asked Tinsel, and she said you’re an uninspired, vapid dork who needs a computer to think for them.