Mischa Krilov

Gallette de rois #kingcake from Maurice bakery. A little dry, but fine.

Guava and cream cheese #kingcake from Norma's Sweets Bakery. Soft and sweet. Surprisingly low gloop factor, but has a slight tendency to fall apart with small slices. I really dig the sweet guava with the smooth cream cheese.

Really enjoying the NOCCA Goddess #kingcake. It's VERY figgy (which I love) and the orange really hits some bright notes. I like the crunch of the walnuts, too. Personally, I want more goat cheese, but I can appreciate the restraint. A tiny bit dry, but it offsets against the toppings nicely.

Cinnamon #kingcake, provenance unknown. Tastes like high quality grocery store king cake; it's very soft, distinct notes of cinnamon without being too​ overpowering.

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The Bad Bunny dulce de leche coconut #kingcake from La Boulangerie. This was a lovely surprise, sweet and not too sticky. Aromatic and I wanted more.

New-to-me Chez Pierre Vietnamese bakery cream cheese #kingcake. Very very soft bready bread that was somehow dense and airy. The cream cheese has been whipped or blended and was likewise light and smooth.

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The last slice of Antoine's Bakery cream cheese #kingcake. Still good after a little over a week. When I do a King Cake rating book, I'mma include a time-to-stale rating.

Dong Phuong strawberry and coconut #kingcake, respectively. Both are excellent. Low gloop factor for coconut, medium gloop factor for strawberry. Again, my favorite of their offerings is the coconut and I think their strawberry is my favorite strawberry.

Doesn't sound like me. Maybe I was full of sugar and ranting.

Not my rule. I don't bake 'em.

Marguerite's #kingcake. Light almond notes, a little dry and it works well together. Nice layer of icing with a satisfying crunch.

Yes, I got the baby in a king cake I bought.

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Dough Nguyener's coffee #kingcake. Dense and soft with nice thick icing. Stayed fresh a long while. Vietnamese style coffee filling, light cinnamon. Not bitter and very smooth. Low gloop factor.

Bywater Bakery's Chantilly #kingcake. IYKYK, the cream filling is so bright and light and fluffy, and the bread is just barely holding it together wonderfully. High gloop factor!

La Boulangerie's gallette de rois #kingcake. Very light and soft frangipane. It disappeared too quickly for the angle shot.

It'd have to be plain vanilla. It's been a couple of years since I tried it, but I don't remember anything positive.

Presented without comment.

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Party Palace traditional #kingcake. Perfectly cromulent. I really like this combination of icing and sugar. Cinnamon not overwhelming, bread nice and chewy. My particular slice was cold from the fridge, probably should have let it set out more.

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The NOCCA Dubai Chocolate #kingcake. It looks gorgeous, with an okay Dubai chocolate sauce flavor, but I seriously need a higher gloop factor here. I would pay more for a larger, more decadent, cake!

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Antoine's Bakery Queen Cake, basically a #kingcake with little pots of various flavor fillings: apple, cream cheese, strawberry and Bavarian cream. I adore their traditional above all. This one is like a miniature buffet of flavors... Including cinnamon.

The Nolita #kingcake is a very smooth, classic offering with a mix of icing and sugar. A step above the average traditional and there's some definite flavors to the bread.

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Terrytown Cafe #kingcake. I like this kind of sugar (ignoring the extraneous sprinkles) but the bread wasn't flavorful.

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Traditional plain #kingcake from Adrian's bakery. Old school; they make large and extra large and plenty of filling options. Very light cinnamon and very bready with good texture. I would prefer less dry, but YMMV.

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This is Emeril's NOCCA Banana Cream Pie #kingcake. Somehow both fresh and smoky banana; very bright. Medium gloop factor.

Spiced citrus gallette des rois from Lagniappe Bakehouse (#kingcake adacent). This thing has candied satsumas and cherries and frangipane and is not nearly as decadent as that sounds. I should've warmed mine up.

Surprise cinnamon cream cheese #kingcake from Tartine, consistently at the top of my list. Very sweet, very high gloop factor, the cream cheese is magically caramelized with a very lovely smooth and the bread hovers on the edge of pastry.

Top tier.

The Dr Pepper #kingcake from Rouses is not good.

Visually unappealing, grocery store bread, doesn't taste like Dr Pepper, strangely has a better aftertaste than before taste, which does not bode well. They sell it by the slice if you're curious.

Hard pass.

At home, we have the Bittersweet Confections chocolate cream cheese #kingcake. There's not much left. Possibly the standard when it comes to chocolate king cake. Medium gloop factor.

Thanks, man!

Three #kingcake offerings from Ayu Bakehouse. Their chocolate babka is a wonderful option, the Vieux Carre is pecan praline/frangipane/cherry is nice (very fragrant), but their actual cream cheese one is TOP TIER.

Strawberry cream cheese #kingcake from Bourg's supermarket, wherever that is. Definitely grocery store king cake and not bad. Reminiscent of a Rouses. Very soft and a medium gloop factor.