Victoria Gausden

Clair Wills · The Price of Safety: Constance Marten’s Defiance The trials of Constance Marten and Mark Gordon were held to determine their criminal responsibility for their daughter...

A long and very sad read but one which is worth the effort. www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v4...

I'm then heading to @edfringe.bsky.social at the end of the month and there are still tickets available for all shows there - although do book early if you can as some shows are starting to look busy already... edinburgh.justthetonic.com/event/88:4930/

Matt Green: Work in Progress - Camden Fringe Online political comedy star Matt returns with new jokes about politics, the news and himself. Matt has moved house and the world is in chaos. But we can still laugh about it - right?Is selling a flat...

Had a really fun show last night in Tufnell Park and looking forward to another one tonight. Very much still tickets available for all shows so if you fancy a laugh then come along... camdenfringe.com/events/matt-... @camdenfringe.bsky.social

See also refuge collectors and tender hooks.

Two of the stupidest arguments I've had with people are light sabre or life saver and rations or rashers of bacon.

Also, the former had a dog called Sabre.

Charming, isn't it?

She could have been friends with my history teacher, Miss Sidebottom.

Got a knock on the door today from a kid of about 14 who offered to wash my car. I could not have agreed faster! Anyway, after 5 minutes he came back looking flustered and said he was so sorry but his mum had rung him up and told him he had to go home for his tea. So car still covered in lichen. 🙁

“Here we are again on the banks of the river Jordan and that last tackle from John the Baptist was dangerously reckless so time for an early bath for him. Let’s hope he doesn’t lose his head again.”

I think it would work better with woodlice!

That very few of you will make it through the reception?

They actually get applauded after services in our Benefice! It’s gone to their heads.

Love them!

I wonder if Jesus would be Union or League. (12 disciples plus Jesus equals 13. Probably League)

Whatever their merits or demerits, at least they’re better than Shine, Jesus, Shine!

At last we know exactly who is benefiting from climate change 😕

😀🍷

Lovely!

…who replied personally, and you have to imagine the letter read in his Scottish accent, “Had you not been so precipitate in turning off your wireless you would have learned also that rrrrrobins like worrrms”.

In the days when radios were called wireless sets and too a while to warm up, one listener was so incensed to hear “Great tits like coconuts” that she switched the set off and wrote to the Director-General of the BBC, Sir John Reith…

My mother used to know someone called Miss Titball. A double whammy!

She was. I’ve still got the ancient copies of Coral Island and The Jolliest Term on Record that she gave me when I was poorly. She wrote the history of Boston Spa.

I knew Bim for about 20 years and never saw her wear anything other than a moss green tweed skirt and mustard jumper, with a sludge coloured gilet and battered bucket hat if it was very cold. She was very keen on betting and studied the family trees and current form of all the racehorses.

There’s also a hymn based on the Agincourt Song. (Cue Laurence Olivier duffing up the French)

… her grandson extracted from the bag and started bashing together to make horses’ hooves noises. She said, “Don’t do that,darling. Those are for granny’s tits.”

…She once passed an old man trimming his hedge and advised him of a better way to do it to which he replied “Are you one of those people what interferes, missus?” She was.
Anyway, one Saturday, she had been in the village buying bird food with her grandson. She had bought two coconut halves which…

I have told this story before but you can always scroll past 🙂
When I was young, an old lady called Bim (short for Beatrice: her best friend was called Jumbo) used to visit us every Saturday. She was active in the Village Society, as was my dad. She was also interested in absolutely everything…..

I know! I’ve speeded up natural selection by millennia!

X is on Bluesky

Now have 25-40 dead fruit flies. However, some of the cleverer and less drunk ones have learnt how to get out of the jar and will now probably establish a master race of focussed, highly intelligent and sober super flies who will eventually take over the world. Next Tuesday, at the rate they breed.

I like the sound of your dad!