Kiki

My mom said my dad has the "Man flu" and that I "know what [she's] talking about." I agreed when, in fact, I have no idea what she's talking about. What makes man flu different from the flu? Interested parties are inquiring.

💰💰💰

why must it always be democrats who compromise with republicans? why can republicans never be the ones who compromise with democrats? the answer may be more obvious than you think

"What do you have there?" "A knife!" "No!!!!!"

good morning, I can't stop thinking about how 34,000 of my neighbors are going to lose access to SNAP in a week.

Igloo

#NoKings Miami!

Take that Speaker Johnson

WSJ headline that reads "breaking news: The U.S. has revoked the visas of at least six people for their comments on the death of Charlie Kirk, the State Department said"

The freedom of speech lovers are at it again

Besides linking Tylenol in pregnant women to autism, RFK Jr. now says circumcision is part of the reason why kids are autistic.

"Children who are circumcised early have double the rate of autism, and it's highly likely because they're given Tylenol. None of this is positive..."

history teacher in 50 years: So in September, that’s when the president signed an executive order criminalizing anti-fascism and saying all resistance would be crushed

student: oh so that’s when the whole country realized they were living under fascism

teacher: haha what? oh no lol not at all. no.

Even Marjorie Taylor Greene admitted the GOP could end the shutdown anytime they wanted, they control all the branches of government. Broken clock’s right twice a day.

"If the State shuts down due to the Fed shutdown do we also get to close?"
"What? No. You should know better."
*cue my supervisors laughing in the background*
(I do know better but asked for the bit)

Said something abominably stupid to my manager but the look of confusion was worth it lol

a stuffed monkey is wearing a green shirt and overalls . Alt: a stuffed monkey is wearing a green shirt and overalls looking towards the camera and then to the side

Me, coming back from 2.5 days off while my supervisors complain about our manager not checking the corporate calendar before approving PTO:

media.pagesuite.com/psapps/image...

Batman slapping Robin meme with the caption, an "18+" sign being over Batman's face while Bluesky's logo is over Robin's. Robin as Bluesky: "No discussing self-harm, suicide, abuse (sexual, drugs, substance, etc.) unless it's educational—!!!" Batman as 18+ creators (or non-professionals in general): "Artists are not teachers or therapists. We are not obligated to teach you anything."

Apparently a lot of ppl needs to hear this

#bskycensorship

Me, calling my supervisor: Okay, I don't mean to be a tattle-tale, but - *proceeds to be a fucking tattle-tale*

I think about this post every single time I'm stuck at work when it's rainy or snowing.

I did it!! I beat the Path of Pain in #HollowKnight!!!! It only took me approximately 12ish hours.

Really, today's moral is to not ask questions to which you won't like the honest answer. Because sometimes you need that honesty, whether you like it or not.

A gray calico cat laying on a blue cat tree covered in cat hair. The cat is staring at the camera with a nonchalant air.

Lounging

"I don't want you running interference." *asks a question that cannot be answered in an honest way without also being construed as running interference* *proceeds to get mad at the honest answer and perceived interference running*

My mom: I just don't know why your eldest sibling has cut us off
Me, unable to keep my dumbass mouth shut: well maybe it's because you've been treating her like shit

Help I'm playing #HollowKnight for the first time and my fiancé is bullying me for my charm choices

Fiance: *reorganizing the freezer* Ugh, why did we get a chest freezer?
Me: Well, you didn't want to pay $60 for the stand I wanted there, so I convinced you to pay $200 for a chest freezer instead.

hey bsky, can i divorce my fiance for sending me zillow listings of homes we both love but will never be able to afford unless the housing marked and a lot of other things in the US crash?

If you insist on doing a lvl 1 evergaol in #ER:NR you are an asshat if you dc after your entire team dies to the evergaol boss because YOURE THE ONE WHO INSISTED ON LVL 1 EVERGAOL